Source in Portuguese

My daughter is a freshman at college, and she fell pregnant. She called me last night, over the moon, and said that she was so excited, she couldn't wait to move back home and "play mom" (her words). She talked about what the baby would need that I should buy, that I can watch the baby in the evenings after I work so she can still go to college and "have a life" and how happy she is to finally be an adult.

I was shocked, because I have always told her how important it is to finish college before kids and I pay her birth control monthly to exactly prevent this scenario, but I didn't say that, I tried to be nice and supportive but still firm.

I told her congratulations, and I love and support her but I would not be able to provide substantial childcare or financial support because I am a widow with 2 children still in school and we're barely surviving as it is, and I have had to take out loans just to afford her college, which I now have to pay back.

I definitely can't afford to maintain an adult and a baby on top of that. I work full time at a very intense job, sometimes 50-60 hours a week if I can because we need that money. I already struggle to find enough time with my school aged children, I honestly don't have much time even for myself, the last time I left the house for something for ME and not the family was before their dad died 8 years ago. I haven't been to so much as a movie or coffeeshop since I became a single mom because there's just never money.

I said she was welcome to stay at home but all routine babycare will be on her and the dad, and on them alone, as would all expenses related to the baby. I would help in emergencies but the only regular, repeatable contribution I can offer is housing and food and utilities.

She got very upset and said the dad had ghosted her and without my support and money, she couldn't afford it and would be too exhausted for college or anything else.

I said that is true, because it is. She then said "so I should get an abortion?!" And I said the choice is hers, but she needed to keep what it will cost her time and money wise in mind when making that choice.

She disconnected without a word, and this morning I got a long, angry text saying I was a terrible mother and a bad feminist because I was forcing her to have an abortion, which I don't think is true at all. I haven't responded yet because I don't want to hurt her and I know she's scared, but I also still feel strongly that simply can not be raising another child in the little bit of off time I get, and I can't even come close to affording things like diapers and formula regularly.

She has been texting my mom (who also still works full time) and brother, saying that I'm forcing her to abort a child she wants, and they've been blowing up my phone but I just don't have the energy to deal with them, and I don't think I'm wrong so I don't even know what to say to them i've always tried my best to be a good mom, and I've never denied her love or support but I feel like she's asking too much by asking me to devote a significant amount of time and money, which I don't have, into raising this baby.

So, Reddit, AITAH and a bad feminist for "forcing an abortion" when I am "supposed to be pro choice"? She is threatening to cut all contact, and of course I don't want that at all but I simply cannot afford another baby right now, time wise OR money wise, I'm already drowning.

Edit: Thank you so much for your comments, I'm reading through them but they're coming so fast I can't keep up. To address a few things:

a.) I don't think she meant "play mom" the way many of you perceive it or I may have made it sound. I'm sure she thinks that if I just support her, she would be able to be a good mom and have this baby she wants. I think in her mind, she is fully planning on being a good mom, but I also think she has next to no idea what that means in a practical day to day reality this costs a fortune kind of way, and I'm not sure how to explain it to her without being accused of undue "pressure" one way or the other.

b.) The accusation does hurt, because the truth is I would much prefer she hae an abortion, but I'm trying really hard tnot to influence her one way or the other so I'm not sure where the boundaries are between "sharing your experience" and "convince them to abort"... at least in her mind.

c.) I don't think she's a brat, I think she's just very, very naive and being a bit selfish and thoughtless at the moment. Again, I'm not sure how to tell her this gently - like the loan thing is really messing me up because I've paid for the semester so if she drops out now, that money is gone, but I again don't want to use finances to pressure her or hold finances over her head or something like that.

d.) No risk of my mom taking the baby or the daughter, lol, my grandparents practically raised us, my mom was a teen mom from a long line of teen moms, I was so proud of myself for breaking the generational curse. My mom never had to "step up" the way her mom had to (and she had to work full time in any case and wouldn't have been able to even if it were needed), and honestly without our gran I don't think we'd have survived because while my mom is great, she's useless with babies XD. I think they're just concerned because it's very unlike us to have such a huge fight, my kids and I almost never fight.

Thanks again for your comments, I'll use many of them to formulate a response to my daughter to helpfully make her think, I may just link the thread if she stays obstinate, though some of you are really too harsh towards her so i hope it won't come to that.

Thanks again.

Last 2 days my entire TikTok feed is about how Taylor was at some football game to meet some guy named Travis

I mean thats great but do we really need millions of videos to comment on this?

I’m European

• His Majesty has hair - just why?

• Raphael got a bad dye job (and basic horns?), as a Raphael simp - nope, fuck nope.

• Shared stash... need I say more? - transfer of bags to you when dismissing companions.

• Camera now focuses on Tav in conversations and you can't see the expressions of companions anymore. Tav either cringes or has a dead face. Bug? Intended? I don't know.

• People pointed out that some animations are missing, like facial expressions of your companions making them feel cold.

• Gale is bugged. Again. And can treat you like shit even with high approval. He still repeats himself and talks about Raphael's contract.

• I personally hate the new dyes, I don't think that leather should be dyed in neon colors and I want my gold details back.

• Dammon insta dies in Act 2 because of the suspicious cow/slime.

• Doors are bugged.

• Unable to save the game after trading.

• Wyll's story got bugged in Act 3 and players can't progress.

• Dialogues are being cut - NPCs will/might not finish sentences.

• Censored scenes while the censorship is turned off.

• Fps improved for a lot of people but crashed into the Challenger Deep for others.

• Problems with MP - please refer to the thread.

• Animate Dead is also broken: skeletons spawn without bows and zombies aren't spawning at all.

I can't add everything mentioned in the thread because I can't keep up, sorry. However, it is nice that people are sharing, don't forget to make proper reports, you can submit feedback to Larian as well.

• Be aware that mods are not officially supported and might cause the mirror not to work.

On phone

My daughter got pregnant the second year into college, it was not a good time. My husband and I stepped up so she could finish college, which she did. She just graduated and just got a job. The problem is at the moment she can not afford childcare or rent since her job kinda sucks.

We were hoping she would be moving out by the end of the year. She told us today that she is pregnant again. When she told us I said not again. She asked if I was happy for her and I told her no. That we will not look after another kid and we already wanted her to find her own place by the end of the year or next summer at the latest.

She is pissed at us and we got into an argument. She thinks we are assholes.

I’m not the smartest individual and recently found out that The Banshees of inisherin is an allegory for the Irish civil war and how the conflict between the two characters is representative of a nation of people fighting each other and in turn hurting themselves in the process. Then there’s district 9, which, isn’t entirely about apartheid, but it’s easy to see how the two are connected.

With that said, what other movies are actually allegories for something else?