r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/sco-go • 18d ago

This hedgehog woke up and chose violence.

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29.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

154 comments sorted by

823

u/ArchonStranger 18d ago

All hedgehogs wake up and choose violence. Though loveable, they are spikey little Poops-and-Bites Machines that will also piss on your clothes as a bonus. The dreaded Tactical Sniff-Lick-Chomp has caught many an unsuspecting chump unaware...

385

u/laowildin 18d ago

Mine used to drag everything up against his heating lamp in an attempt to light my house on fire

58

u/cosmotosed 17d ago edited 17d ago

Is your Heat turned high enough?

Perhaps the hedgehog was communicating the best way they could?

38

u/9035768555 17d ago

Might have been too hot and it was trying to block some of it?

40

u/cosmotosed 17d ago

Air Too hot hedgehog said BURN IT ALL - i can relate

11

u/-Zband 17d ago

Hedge Cues stereo system: "burrnnin down the house!"

88

u/Winterspear 18d ago

Don't forget the male ones like to masturbate constantly

139

u/suzumushibrain 18d ago edited 18d ago

So they are basically average redditors.

83

u/Honda_TypeR 18d ago edited 17d ago

Except redditors are more shy about it then a hedgehog. A hedgehog will eyeball you the entire time so you know who's the boss.

26

u/rayornot 18d ago

Challenge accepted

21

u/CaptDickAround 17d ago

So, in this theoretical masturbation contest, is finishing first good, or bad?

9

u/FapMasterZer0 18d ago

👁️👁️

11

u/Goodly 18d ago

Why are you attacking me!?

3

u/LegoClaes 18d ago

You’re thinking of edgy, not spiky

25

u/Pumpingions 17d ago

We had our hedgehogs cage in the living room, so whenever there was a quiet part of a movie/TV, all you'd be able to hear is the sound of him licking himself.

20

u/mrs-monroe 17d ago

I had a male who sucked his own peepee while I was holding him :((

7

u/Moriartea7 17d ago

Sonic lore is wild.

12

u/Pumpingions 17d ago

Came back from a walk once to find my hedgehogs water bowl stained red, he'd dragged a toy he had through a tunnel and across his cage just to dump it in the water.

8

u/seeasea 17d ago

And then curls up into a ball and says I don't want any hugs and kisses

3

u/Slimh2o 17d ago edited 17d ago

Don't want all your love and hugs and kisses too?

6

u/CrumpetsElite 17d ago

I'm glad to hear that ferrets aren't the only fiends who will fool you with the sniff-lick-chomp combo move

209

u/Random-Username7272 18d ago

World's angriest hairbrush.

38

u/DarkRitual_88 17d ago

Tactical assault hampster

258

u/jastus07 18d ago

Peace was never an option!

102

u/Schwanz-in-muschi 18d ago

If your body is covered in spikes you don't come by to negotiate

11

u/Remotely_Correct 17d ago

Spikes that are practically harmless to humans unless you try to pet them in the wrong direction lol

3

u/tekko001 17d ago

Piss was the only option!

199

u/shinjikun10 18d ago

I took my hedgehog to the carpet store so I could match colors.

55

u/InEenEmmer 18d ago

Oh, and guests are required to walk barefoot.

17

u/TinyMexicanJew 18d ago

Honestly so smart

16

u/DancesWithBadgers 18d ago

The hedgehog just ties the room together.

159

u/SpookyFrogs0 18d ago

What are you talking about? The video depicts a terrier breed!

28

u/Dear_Analysis_5116 18d ago

I thought it was one of those poodle crosses...

7

u/AllPurposeNerd 18d ago

I never played that one, which is weird because I enjoyed Poodle Trigger so much.

3

u/Miles_1173 18d ago

From what I remember, Poodle Cross really suffered from the industry making things overly complex to force customers to buy Pet Guides if they wanted to avoid the Old Yeller ending.

3

u/e-wrecked 18d ago

Reminded me of my corgi with a little potato butt and viciously shaking her toy.

39

u/spacepup13 18d ago

Dammit if that is not just adorable.

42

u/Pizza_Pandemic 18d ago

Just add the Doom soundtrack to it for an unique experience https://streamable.com/1brkrw

3

u/[deleted] 17d ago

I love it, this is what it needed.

143

u/Confident-Slip-5264 18d ago

So smol so angy

32

u/cosmotosed 17d ago edited 17d ago

So smol so angy 😡

My Spike ball is dangy ⚠️

Bitey bitey shredy shredy

Goodbye Mr Teddy 🧸

29

u/i-love-big-birds 17d ago

Hedgehogs are fucking assholes lol. They are grumpy miserable little shits. That's why they're one of my favorite pets. We would take my hedgehog outside with us whenever we gardened and if anything got in her way such as a rock or one of us she'd just angrily headbutt it until it moved. She also would always chase my dad to bite him too. Despite all this the vet said she was one of the friendlier hedgehogs she'd ever seen.

1

u/Taz_Yangian_Devil 17d ago

All of this, heh. Would love to get another but it's not in the cards.

19

u/ksanthecat 18d ago

Shadow the Hedgehog.

3

u/Beryozka 18d ago

Clearly this is Coldsteel the Hedgeheg.

2

u/redsquidface 17d ago

He searching for that damned fourth chaos emerald.

15

u/snappyirides 18d ago

“Oh the first carpet has “spikes” so it thinks it’s ano—- oh. Oh I see.”

14

u/artiste45 18d ago

Ha ha

9

u/SacredGray 18d ago

Disrespect your surrroundings

22

u/drowsydeku 18d ago edited 18d ago

I need some metal added to this

​

Edit: I did it myself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TuYboHTl4w

2

u/ThatOneArtKart 18d ago

YESS

2

u/I_Am_Anjelen 18d ago

When the Doom music kicks in...

1

u/MetaKnightsNightmare 17d ago

You said metal I was like "Okay, so some death metal or something."

I popped it up while with my GF, music plays, and we're both like "of course" and she starts singing along, she's a huge Shadow fan lol.

9

u/shawny_mcgee 18d ago

At the end it looks like he's being eaten by a bigger hedgehog.

7

u/Agreeable_Copy9548 18d ago

Broj woke up on the left leg

8

u/FernandoMM1220 18d ago

Silver is having a rough day.

6

u/Wooden-Donut6931 18d ago

🤣😂🤣😂

10

u/wheretohides 18d ago

"No one's allowed to look like me bitch!"

5

u/Melancholic84 18d ago

Small angry animals always cheer me up, so adorable

4

u/cupcakesloth94 18d ago

Hedgehogs are fiesty lil creatures and their bites hurt!

6

u/Puppazz 17d ago

Maybe a hedgehog is a wild animal that shouldn't be kept as a pet, as cute as it may be.

3

u/TehHamburgler 18d ago

Trying to shake some gold rings out.

3

u/shineymike91 18d ago

Such an adorable rage machine!!

3

u/Tadpole_Former 18d ago

It's so ANGRY...

3

u/IzarkKiaTarj 17d ago

First object: "Oh no, I wonder if that looks enough like a rival hedgehog to make it think it needs to attack?"

The rest: "Oh. Okay, I guess it's just like that."

3

u/LSP4Brad 17d ago

DISRESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS

2

u/Petite_Tsunami 18d ago

David v. Goliath, & David wins agai.

2

u/ivegotaqueso 18d ago

Pet 1 : Blanket 0

2

u/PsychoDark23 17d ago

"I don't want peace! ONLY PROBLEMS!"

2

u/FlyingHighSwift 17d ago

It's almost like it's a wild animal and frustrated because it's kept in a completely unnatural environment 🤔

2

u/Psychological-Elk260 17d ago

This was inappropriate for the meeting I found this in while scrolling. I couldn't stop laughing.

2

u/cucumbersuprise 17d ago

Is there sub for cute things being angry balls of hate?

2

u/meowsmusic 17d ago

Someone make an edit of this to ‘Break Stuff’

2

u/Dorkits 17d ago

Peace was never an option 😠

2

u/MasterXaios 17d ago

WHERE ARE THE RINGS, B!TCH?!?!

2

u/Bohya 18d ago

A carpet the same colour as the hedgehog seems risky.

2

u/AbraKadaverPalaver 17d ago

Imagine you are a hedgehog and wake up every day realising some hooman keeps you as a pet. Result = tremendous anger.

2

u/5zalot 17d ago

Why would you get a hedgehog exactly the same color and texture as the carpet? That seems like a vacuum cleaner accident waiting to happen.

0

u/Taz_Yangian_Devil 17d ago

I shouldn't be giggling. And yet...

1

u/Iamthemaster1000 18d ago edited 18d ago

Are those able to be held or do they bite (not counting the quills they appear to have)

1

u/Embarrassed-Vast4569 17d ago

They can and do bite on occasion (angry or hungry) but sometimes they're chill and decide not to bite. You're at their mercy.

Also, fun fact, those are spines, not quills. Spines refer generally to hair hardened into a spike while quills specifically have a spongy core.

1

u/xXNickAugustXx 17d ago

Your playing a dangerous game having the carpet match the hog. Best hope it isn't quill season.

1

u/Justherebecausemeh 18d ago

Mating season?

1

u/Money_Rent333 18d ago

It be like that sometimes

1

u/kvol69 18d ago

Damn that boy is pissed...

1

u/Granpas_Old_Boot 18d ago

That is so fucking cute!

1

u/the_creepy_1 18d ago

He is me

1

u/Bright-blue-hat 18d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 totally aggressive for such a tiny creature. Adorable when they pretend fight 😂😂😅😅

1

u/LoadingUser_1 17d ago

Sometimes I make the same choice

1

u/skuta69 17d ago

Okayyy, let’s brawl.

1

u/Taz_Yangian_Devil 17d ago

Cute little bugger. Sabotage playing in my head.

1

u/Aiden2817 17d ago

Have you considered that isn’t a pure bred hedgehog. It could be a hedgehog grizzly cross which is why it’s savaging your belongings. Grizzlies are well known to have grumpy attacks.

1

u/PrinsaVossum 17d ago

"Blood for the blood god! ^w^"

1

u/ArtemisDragonhide 17d ago

He had somethings to settle with his bed also .... lol

1

u/IntrovertMoTown1 17d ago

They get cranky when you don't give them rings in the morning.

1

u/KingofGnG 17d ago

Sanic, stap.

1

u/FitWrap4157 17d ago

The angry hedgehog.

1

u/femboy-onall4s 16d ago

me on mondays

1

u/JulesVernerator 16d ago

Calm down Sonic

1

u/Consistent_Target905 16d ago

Awww, but it's such cute violence

1

u/Neither-Night9370 15d ago

Introducing the Netflix live action Sonic the Hedgehog.

1

u/DarkEater77 11d ago

Metal Sonic Mode activated.