r/AskReddit 9d ago

What instantly ages someone?


12.5k comments sorted by


u/TheGreatGrappaApe 9d ago

Grief, nothing ages you like Grief


u/madziiino 9d ago

Yep, when my oldest brother died my dad went from jet black hair to grey pretty quickly.


u/ScissorsOfJealousy 9d ago

My brother died 2 years ago, I aged so much since and now look older than some friends of mine who are 15 years older than me. On top of not sleeping well due to autoimmune issues, I notice new grey hairs everyday. Grief, lack of sleep, stress. I have the trio and its just awful. Losing a sibling is a nightmare, especially at a young age. My deepest sympathies.


u/madziiino 9d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’ll feel better soon. It is horrible and even 20 years later, it hurts. The pain will always be there, but you learn to live with it and what the actor Andrew Garfield said about his grief for his mom is so true: “This is all the unexpressed love, the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter if someone lives till 60, 15, or 99.”


u/CaptainKate757 9d ago

God, he had me sobbing talking about his mother. She must have been very special.

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u/mabols 9d ago

19 years ago my husband’s son was born. Exactly a month later his wife passed from skin cancer (she had this from everyone). From climbing the corporate ladder to grieving unemployed single dad living back with his parents in the span of a month. His hair also went from black to white in less than a year.


u/Aussie20202022 9d ago

What does "she had this from everyone" mean?


u/le_grey02 9d ago

I think they meant to say ‘she hid this from everyone.’


u/Aussie20202022 9d ago

Ok thank you. It makes sense now.

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u/alphajager 9d ago

Dude, this is the real shit. Not only does it physically age you, but you FEEL old. My brother, my father, and his three brothers all passed in the last two years, and the weight of that is absolutely crushing. I feel like gravity was doubled overnight, and when I think about it too much I can't talk because I'm drowning all of a sudden.

Took a family photo at the cemetery after laying my brother to rest (he was the last one to get buried even though he was the second to go after Dad, another story), and one of my cousins said out loud like it was a surprise "Oh, wow, [alphajager] is the only boy here."

And I thought I might just sink into the grass right there and then.


u/ScissorsOfJealousy 9d ago

I'm sorry bro. Lost my brother too. Just feels like everything is over.

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u/joyosects 9d ago

I have kids and my wife died a couple years ago.

I'm okayish now, but I went from being excited and vibrant about life, to being ready to retire. I don't know how I'm going to work 20 more years, I'm just mentally exhausted all the time.

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u/DragonfruitFew5542 9d ago edited 8d ago

My mom died less than two months ago. One symptoms I was not expecting was the physical aches and pains associated with grief; oh and the fatigue can be brutal. I'm only 35 but I feel much older physically, mentally been there for some time throughout her 16 year illness/being a caregiver for part of that time.

Edit: Thank you all for your kindness, I'm so sorry to everyone that's had to endure grief; it's a pain that I could never have known before this.


u/Flickthebean87 9d ago edited 8d ago

I was also a caretaker for both my parents. I’m also 35 and feel more like 95. My whole immediate family is now deceased.

Wow this blew up. I love all your stories and I’m so sorry to whoever has buried one or both of their parents, grandparents, or guardians. Or to anyone who has had a long road caretaking. Remember you are important too and to take care of yourself best you can. ❤️


u/BC_Trailrunner 9d ago

Yup. Know that feeling. Dad died when I was 26. Mom and brother died when I was 34. Had to settle both estates simultaneously. Was a caregiver for my grandmother for 7 years during my 30’s until I just couldn’t do it anymore. I am early 40’s, but shit I have an old soul and constant apathy towards most things.


u/Flickthebean87 9d ago

Man that’s a lot. Have you found it hard to figure out what your own self needs and to build a life? I know I had an identity crisis for a bit because I was never used to worrying about myself. Always someone else.


u/fmmmf 9d ago

This hits so close to home, when it was the norm that worrying/looking after a loved one for so many years, that when it's just you it's so hard to turn that caregiver lens inwards, it's like fixed outwards (if this makes any sense). The identity crisis is real, the figuring out what to do in life now, difficult to go through. Truly empathize and wish you all the very best on your journey.

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u/DragonfruitFew5542 9d ago

If you ever want to chat with someone that can empathize, feel free to reach out. I'm so sorry.


u/Flickthebean87 9d ago

Thank you! I probably will. Same for you!!


u/jpark28 9d ago

I'm very sorry for your losses, I can't even imagine what you went through.

But I also couldn't help but laugh when I read your username 😂

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u/Squigglepig52 9d ago

Mom died last year, and I'm surprised at how it didn't completely devastate me.

I didn't expect such a flat acceptance of it, still waiting for the loss to sucker punch me. I mean, I have BPD, not breaking down is not my normal reaction to loss.

As for you -fuck, being a caregiver like you were is a huge huge load, and I'm not surprised the loss has hit you like it has. Be good to yourself.


u/Owlbertowlbert 9d ago

I’m very, very close with my mom. But in a lot of ways, I feel like i lost her about 15 years ago.

She has so much unresolved grief and trauma from a fucked up childhood and now in her 60s I think it’s starting to become too much. She has a hard time with mobility and doesn’t seem driven to leave the house too often. When I see her she radiates misery. I hope she lives a lot longer because she’s my mom, but I wonder if I’ll have a similar reaction as you. Feels like the mom I adored growing up is gone already.

I’m sorry for your loss. Remember the magical times.


u/Live-Mail-7142 9d ago

This comment resonates with me. I'm 61. Had a super bad childhood. Went to therapy. Thought "all good now". Nope the older I get I find its too much too. I don't think ppl heal from their traumas. Internet hugs to you and your mom.

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u/Kooky_Ad_5139 9d ago

My brother died nearly 2 years ago, obviously its been hard, but the hardest part was watching my niece age, she was 5 when it happened and is nearing 8 now, it has been hard to watch


u/linderlady 9d ago

Same. My parents are raising his children, they’re 5 and 6 now. My poor mother has aged so fast. The kids are wise beyond their years, yet too young to process fully. Sending your family peace and love.


u/Kooky_Ad_5139 9d ago

My partner and I watch my niece every weekend and last weekend she was cuddling him and just quietly said 'I wish people didn't die' which is when I looked over and realized my partner was holding her the same way my brother used to. I just wish she never had to go through this


u/linderlady 9d ago

My niece and nephew attend multiple therapies weekly. They’re obsessed with police, jail, and anything related to good guys vs bad guys. Play therapy has been extremely beneficial. I hope your niece has a trained professional to talk to. She’s lucky she has you, and your partner to hold her like that.


u/Kooky_Ad_5139 9d ago

I might try to find a play therapist in my area and see if I can't help my SIL get her there

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u/flower-child 9d ago

I guarantee you they’re processing, regardless of their age or how it appears. Kids “wise beyond their years” is a telltale sign of trauma/PTSD.

If you haven’t already, please, please get them in to see a trauma-informed children’s therapist to help process their loss, so that the trauma doesn’t manifest itself as behavioural problems/personality disorders/substance abuse issues down the line.

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u/intensenerd 9d ago

Mom died and my first day of high school was the day after her funeral. Went from an innocent 14 year old to a “you have to raise yourself because your dad is gonna lose his mind” in a flash. It hurts still.


u/_aloha__ 9d ago

Also lost my mum when I was still basically a kid. I can’t explain it, but along with the grief and lack of sleep is a mental aging. Like I got two decades older overnight. Nothing seemed to matter as much and nothing would ever make me fully whole again. Hang in there friend.

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u/HiroshiTakeshi 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yup. Today marks the second year anniversary of one of my parent's death. I don't have a family anymore and live alone in a studio (choice, I'm fairly frugal), faced a lot of money issues and failed my semester. I am sincerely super tired of living and find more cons and less pros to carry on.

Grew emotionally numb and lost liking to a lot of stuff I used to play and enjoy before and shit has been gray ever since. Hell, I started having gray hairs. Not hair, straight up gray arm hairs.

You don't overcome grief. You learn to live with it. But hey. It is what it is.

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u/neon_xoxo 9d ago

I feel like I matured very quickly and then regressed. I don’t think I’ve developed much emotionally or physically from being a 14 year old and experiencing a parental loss. I’m immature and I struggle immensely with codependency and acting like an adult


u/KumaGirl 9d ago

I'm 32 and I still can't figure out what "Act like an Adult" means. Can you tell me, because I'd really like to know if it means not enjoying life then I'm going to be a kid forever.

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u/AnotherPhilosopher 9d ago

Been greiving for about 8 years now. Had a semblance of joy when my nephew was born, but just cant seem to shake it.

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u/AdWonderful5920 9d ago

Back pain.

You can't move like a young person if your back hurts.


u/DomingoLee 9d ago

You’re as old as your back


u/reecieface1 9d ago

Or your knees! Sucks so bad..

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u/nononanana 9d ago

I went from being active and spry to barely able to move and in constant pain. It changed so much about my personality as being active and sporty was a huge part of who I was. I also gained some weight.

I’m way better now and not in constant pain, but there is always a risk of flare ups now so I while I can exercise and be active, it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t do it with the carefree attitude I once did. I also believe it makes me susceptible to other aches and pains as the nerves all connect so sometimes a flare up sends pains to other extremities such as my hips or shoulders. If there was one thing I could go back and change in my life, it would be to prevent the back injury.

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u/dorothy_zbornakk 9d ago edited 8d ago

i had a breast reduction almost 5 years ago and i feel younger now, at 30, than i did at 18. a hearty f-ck you to every doctor that ever told me to “just try yoga or pilates.”

eta: i am not a doctor or PT. despite my (relatively and unfortunately common) experience, the best person to give you advice is a physician or PT. please talk to someone with a medical license and board certification if you’re in pain. after almost a decade of PT, i spoke to my PCP, an orthopaedic specialist, and then a plastic surgeon but my experience is not, and should not be taken as, a universal guideline. if you need a place to start, please check out r/reduction.


u/Wonderful-Assist2077 9d ago

I have a cousin who has huge breasts and she's always having back issues she's over 50 now can't remember her exact age but I never thought about reduction helping out with your back. Would you recommend it to someone over 50 who has had issues for over 35 years? or is the damage done?


u/dorothy_zbornakk 9d ago edited 8d ago

i would recommend it to anyone, regardless of their age, if a doctor says there’s no undue risk. the relief i felt was literally instantaneous. my mom and grandma were with me and they both said it was like an entirely different person stood up in the recovery room. 5 years after i can just…get out of bed without rolling to the edge and falling out. i can run, lift things, sit on the train for hours — all without suffering for it.

eta: there’s still some longterm damage after 10 years of carrying around an extra 7 lbs on my chest but i would say the pain and discomfort has improved by at least 80%.

eta pt 2: i am not a doctor or PT. despite my (relatively and unfortunately common) experience, the best person to give you advice is a physician or PT. please talk to someone with a medical license and board certification if you’re in pain. after almost a decade of PT, i spoke to my PCP, an orthopaedic specialist, and then a plastic surgeon but my experience is not, and should not be taken as, a universal guideline. if you need a place to start, please check out r/reduction.


u/crowort 9d ago

My mum has back pain from large breasts. Unfortunately she can’t afford to have them reduced and any doc she has asked about having it done think she really wants an uplift and is using back pain as an excuse.


u/Total-Extension-7479 9d ago

They sound like my doctor who told my mother I would grow out of cerebral palsy and that she should quit being hysterical. Had she listened to that ass I would have been unable to use my entire right side and would have been confined to a wheelchair´today. But if you saw me walking past you in the street today, you wouldn't notice a thing wrong with me.

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u/TaillessChimera 9d ago

Those docs can fuck right off

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u/Yasmin947 9d ago

Lack of sleep


u/stacity 9d ago

That’s why it’s called beauty sleep


u/HalifaxSamuels 9d ago

Must be why I'm so ugly

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u/CreamSteeve 9d ago

Yep. Good sleepers look so young and chipper


u/JellybeanMilksteaks 9d ago

Nah, I get 8 hours every night and still look like a dying Victorian child


u/IShitOnYourPost 9d ago

But you did say "child"!


u/holmgangCore 9d ago

A Victorian child with progeria

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u/Jockstaposition 9d ago

But the point is you look like a child so still works.

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u/SCG414 9d ago

Can confirm. I have an aunt who looks older than my grandmother because she regularly got 3 hours of sleep a night while my grandmother will fall asleep anywhere.


u/picklecruncher 9d ago

I couldn't sleep last night, night before two hours, night before no sleep. I look like something straight out of the Walking Dead.

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u/imapassenger1 9d ago

Fking cancer. Have watched my brother in law age 30 years in a month.


u/WimpyZombie 9d ago

I have been a witness to this many times. "30 years in a month" is an accurate measurement.


u/Zkenny13 9d ago

It but the last 20 years happens in like 3 days if it's towards the end. My aunt was 40 and sitting next to my 97 year old great grandmother you could easily tell which one was gonna live to be 100.

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u/cheesy58 9d ago

I’m 20, currently battling cancer myself. Prayers to your brother in law 🙏

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u/Kaiserhawk 9d ago

hair loss. Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who I swore was like 35, and he was 19.

Poor kid.


u/lord_machin 9d ago

When I have an interview, I let my baldness show a little bit. I look older, and I'm taken more seriously by recruiters that way.


u/TGrady902 9d ago

I have the same strategy but with glasses. People assume you’re smarter if you’re wearing glasses. Little do they know…

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u/arieljoc 9d ago

Buccal fat removal


u/Burly_Bara_Bottoms 9d ago

Surprised this wasn't higher up. People with baby cheeks don't realize how well they will serve them thirty years down the line when their buddies who teased them for it look like Skeletor.


u/knombs 9d ago

I hateeee my round chubby face, but it might serve me well in my later years. idk

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u/Csc1392 9d ago

Oh yeah. People in their 20’s look closer to 40. And it’s irreversible! All for a temporary fad


u/Prestigious-Shift233 9d ago

Agreed! And too much lip filler! I watched a friend at 30 suddenly look like a 50 year old!


u/monkey_monkey_monkey 9d ago

Totally! There's chicks in their 20s with those hotdog lips not realizing it makes them look like a 50/60 y.o. divorcee

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u/chronicallyill_dr 9d ago edited 9d ago

Am doctor and have convinced several friends that were contemplating it against it. Sure you’ll great now, but not for long. Some of the moms of people I went to high school got it done and they now remind me of a skull.

Heck, I’m just 30 and have had to get a yearly work visa for the last 5 years. I can see my face slimming in the pictures with each passing year despite remaining the same weight. Good thing I’ve always had a rounded face, so I still have padding for a long time.

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u/gablamegla 9d ago



u/F_is_for_Ducking 9d ago

When I was younger and first entered the real world I remember working with a white-haired woman that had an always tired look about her. She had a picture of her daughter on her desk, young, blonde, that looked so incredibly much like her I mentioned it once. Turned out that wasn’t her daughter, but was her prior to her going through the FBI academy.


u/Protean_Protein 9d ago

Why would someone have a photo of themselves on their desk?


u/Stalinar-Kholin 9d ago

To remember when they were happy and carefree?


u/ShowMeTheTrees 9d ago

To show their coworkers that they used to be young and vibrant, just as they are now.

Young people tend to see old folks as always having been aged. It's hard for them to imagine then back in the day.


u/Strong-Dot-9221 9d ago

Yup. If people say something about how I look bald, fat or grey (which is rude) I tell them that I should have stayed 24.

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u/didyouticklemynuts 9d ago

My ex girlfriend had her own face on her phone screen. I still don't know if that's a normal thing or not.


u/pistachio-pie 9d ago

My ex boyfriend also had a picture of himself as his phone screen. Should have been a giant red flag.


u/throwaway_4733 9d ago

I work with a guy who has a nude picture of his girlfriend as his lock screen and wallpaper. You walk by his desk and get an eyeful of her. I saw her naked several times before I ever met her in person. That is a giant red flag.


u/soupy_e 9d ago

I worked in a cinema and when cleaning after a showing, I found a phone on the floor. Shortly after it started ringing and the caller ID image was a fully naked woman. Almost at the same time, the same woman appeared in the screen saying her boyfriend had lost his phone and asking if I had seen it. I felt embarrassed for her as she clearly knew what I had seen.

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u/CombatConrad 9d ago

I had a friend that had a selfie of himself, just himself, as his desktop photo.


u/SenPiotrs 9d ago

I don't know why, but this is just so fucking funny to me. I don't like my own pictures in general, next to that, I just cannot think of a reason to ever do such a thing. :D


u/Kind-Willingness5427 9d ago

My phone background is a photo of me climbing up a mountain with my skis on my back - I have a desk job now and it reminds me that I have hobbies and I'm a badass, and brings back good memories.

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u/endl0s 9d ago

I did it on my phone with a picture of myself as a reminder of how much I'd let myself go health wise and as a reminder to put that late night snack down and take a walk.

You'd be surprised how much a picture with your shirt off and gut out that you see constantly will help you stay on track.

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u/throwaway0134hdj 9d ago

What I don’t get is when ppl say you need to reduce your stress? Oh rly, like how?


u/Objective_Tour_6583 9d ago

Have you tried just not being poor/over-worked/stressed?


u/NationalAlfalfa37660 9d ago

For real! I get these types of suggestions all the time. Darn frustrating just to listen to them!


u/Alypius 9d ago

I see this all the time from people who fit in all of these categories. People on the brink of homelessness say stuff like "well homeless people are all stupid and addicts, that's why they're homeless". There is just total ignorance on how life can seriously fuck over people who do not have a support network. Folks with low pay and no benefits comment that other equally low paying jobs that lack benefits don't deserve better pay or benefits, but they do.

Right now my province's and city's sanitation workers, 911 operators, and other civil servants are on strike over their shitty pay. I hope they get everything they ask for, regardless of the temporary inconvenience it may cause me. You can't tell people that they are essential workers, then not dignify them with an appropriate living wage. My province is one of, if not the lowest paying in Canada. While the cost of living may be slightly lower than other provinces, the wages are barely enough get by paycheck to paycheck, let alone actually saving up for something like a house.

I'm pretty disgusted with the amount of apathy and selfishness present in Canada, and the rest of the world, these days. I wish I knew how to change it.

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u/ImprovementCareless9 9d ago

Good point, I’m gonna stop being poor and over worked. Oh wait….

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u/The_R_word_ 9d ago

There are a lot of ways, but the first one is not worrying about things you cannot change. Being less angry is another one. Addressing problems immediately as they come up is a huge one.

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u/That_Shrub 9d ago

Nothing helps me manage my stress like hearing how bad my stress is for me:)

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u/dmanbiker 9d ago

I'm 33 with a baby face that makes me look waaay younger, but almost all of my hair is grey.


u/SeyMiaouRun 9d ago

Now that's some god-tier balance.

(Meant this as a compliment. I'm sure you look great.)

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u/mint_lemxn 9d ago

I was gonna say the way you dress but it went real dark in the comments💀


u/secret_cunt 9d ago

I was about to type "wrong hair color" 😭


u/CaligoAccedito 9d ago

This, though. I tried a lighter blonde color and felt like it aged me 15 years. Reds make me look timeless.


u/Itslmntori 9d ago

I constantly get treated like I don’t know anything because I have a young face. I dyed my hair grey and suddenly people treat me like an adult. It’s wonderful.

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u/kizkazskyline 9d ago

Right? I scrolled past a comment that literally just says “death of a child” and “war”. Holy fuck, I was gonna say “puffy eyes”.


u/smackmypony 9d ago

I was expecting some useful insights and saw only sad facts.

But for some reason I giggled uncontrollably at “puffy eyes”. So thanks for being the giggle provider

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u/Artemis246Moon 9d ago

That's trauma induced stress for you

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u/TemRazbou 9d ago edited 8d ago

Night shifts in the emergency department.

EDIT: Wow, this comment really blew up! It got more upvotes than a picture of my cat.

There’s too many replies to answer individually, but I’ll try explaining a few things here.

A lot of folks said how they enjoy working in ER and how it’s almost rejuvenating for them. Don’t get me wrong, ER can be thrilling, it can give you energy. That can really be true when you have a good team behind you, good working conditions and a “functional” hospital and healthcare system.

Having said that, things that were stressful for me were mostly when you feel powerless in tough situations. When we would keep getting more and more patients and simply didn’t have enough beds in the hospital, so the specialist had to call all of the departments and asking for personal favors to admit a seriously ill patient. Stuff like that happened all the time and those were the things that drain you.

Personally, I was working regular ER during my internship, now i am a specialist of child and adolescent psychiatry. During my 5 year residency, I regularly worked in the psych emergency, which was less crowded than regular ER, i could often get a few hours of sleep in. But in such departments, things are interesting as far as work load: you don’t get the next or previous day off. Which means that you start your regular shift on Monday morning 8am till 4 pm, start night shift from 4pm Monday till 8am Tuesday and then have your regular Tuesday shift from 8 am till 4 pm. If you’re on during the weekend? You come in Sunday at 8 am and you’re the on MD till Monday 8 am and then “enjoy” your regular Monday 8 - 4. Fun times.

Sure, the extra money comes in really handy, but… I’m not sure it’s worth it. The last 6 months I didn’t have to do these shifts and honestly, I don’t really miss them.

So yeah, they can fun and active and you do a lot interesting things, but there are many “ifs” to make that a sustainable way of life.


u/YakitoriChicken93 9d ago

Night shifts in general.


u/Neglect3 9d ago edited 9d ago

Lack of sleep in general.


u/Winchery 9d ago

I work night shift for half the year at least and average probably 5.5 hours of sleep a night. I am in my mid 40's and if I shave my hair that is starting to turn white you would think I am 30.

My wife looks pretty young as well, she does get better sleep, but she stresses over everything all the time.

The real trick is to not have kids.

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u/andrewleecra 9d ago

I just did 4 years in prison and that was fucking stressful. I feel like I’ve aged a lot


u/StGir1 9d ago

Yikes, friend. Welcome back. Hope you're adjusting ok?


u/andrewleecra 9d ago

Thanks 🙏🏼. I appreciate that. Most people are assholes when I tell my story 😊❤️‍🩹. Yeah I’m adjusting ok. Being sober is finally something I like.


u/C0ckkn0ck3r 9d ago

Glad your free and sober! 5 years sober now for me. Life just gets better.

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u/St_Killian 9d ago

The loss of a loved one.

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u/Sid15666 9d ago

Meth and alcohol!


u/1strdpdb 9d ago

20 out of 20 of the people that live in the methhouse next door would agree.

I see young people get sucked in. They come around all nice and young, then after a while their car is gone but they're still there. Within a year not only do they age, but their body composition, gait, and posture are all well aged.


u/Various-Month806 9d ago

I'd imagine living next door to a methhouse doesn't do much for restricting ageing!

We had 3 (parents and adult son) alcoholics next door for a year and that was a nightmare of sleepless nights listening to them screaming at each other and breaking things.


u/brannon1987 9d ago

I bought my house unknowing what exactly my neighbors were involved with. Luckily, after a year and a half, they're gone. But not before screaming and loud music late at night, random people coming and banging on their door all throughout the day, police responding to an overdose, and an armed standoff on Memorial Day of this year. I'm sure I've missed 5 or 6 other things. If nothing else, I got my fill of it.

They've been gone for a few weeks and it's been so much more peaceful in the neighborhood and in my mind. I don't have to worry about being safe in my own yard.

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u/iam4r33 9d ago

Read it as Math and alcohol, exam Trauma triggered


u/lorealashblonde 9d ago

Math: not even once


u/giggitygoo123 9d ago

Hey kiddies. Would you like to buy a baggie of scantrons and #2 pencils?

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u/Philitt 9d ago

Troubleshooting printer problems. I swear these devilish machines only exist to trigger me to smithereens.


u/Painting_Gato 9d ago

A couple years ago I decided to officially give up on having a personal printer and only use the one at the library because when it fucks up, it's someone else's problem. I still have my old printer and I've considered dropping it off my roof for fun.


u/Natural_Garbage7674 9d ago

I had the opportunity to throw one out of a third story window. The absolute joy I felt watching that asshole machine soar through the air and smash to smithereens was the best kind of natural high. It's been 15 years and I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

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u/smacfa01 9d ago



u/ArsenicWallpaper99 9d ago

Why does it say Paper Jam when there is NO PAPER JAM?!?

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u/Feb2020Acc 9d ago

I hate dealing with printers nowadays.

Won’t print in black and white because red cartridge needs to be replaced? Fuck you.

Need to sign in on my account to access scanner? Fuck you.

Won’t connect to my wifi unless I have an account? Fuck you.

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u/Tsu_Dho_Namh 9d ago

My Dad bought a wireless HP printer. "Easy to install" it said. He tried doing it on his own for a couple hours before calling me and asking me to come over. I'm a 33 year old software engineer who's pretty tech savvy.

It took me 6 hours, 2 laptops, a tablet, a desktop, 3 phones and a bunch of plugging and unplugging it (cause when the printer freezes not even the power button works) before I finally got it working. Trying everything from manually installing drivers to using their "HP Smart" app (HA!). It was the single worst tech experience I've ever had, and likely ever will have, and I've completely written off HP devices for life because of it.

3 weeks later the printer randomly removed itself from the Wi-Fi network and refused to reconnect. I had to go through the whole installation process again, but luckily it only took 2 hours this time.


u/anthoniesp 9d ago

I’m also a software engineer who’s pretty tech savvy. I have only one rule when it comes to helping people with tech, I do not fuck with printers

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u/Flyinryans35 9d ago

Yes! Of all the tech machines from the last 20 years, printers have gotten significantly more prone to error to the point where it’s not even worth having one. Pieces of shit, every last one of ‘em. A new printer is emerging that is just a thin device you put paper through. Instead of using ink it laser burns the words into the paper. I’m sure they’ll find a way to fuck it up too.


u/yeezygremlin 9d ago

Thermal printer? They've been around forever. It's usually how receipts are printed. Their use is rapidly growing in the industry. My job consists exclusively to maintaining, installing, and replacing thermal printers. I fuckong hate printers. All of them.

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u/Charming_Sandwich_53 9d ago edited 9d ago

Death of a child


Edit: I may have opened up an avenue to share pain through my comment and want anyone who is feeling grief that you can DM ME -Whether it be the loss of a loved one or through the ravages of war. I am sincerely praying for those grieving tonight - and sending virtual hugs!


u/BaconReceptacle 9d ago

I just lost my 25 year old son a few weeks ago. I feel like I'm not really living in the same reality anymore. My whole existence is punctuated every few minutes by thoughts, feelings, regrets, and utter sorrow for a loss I never anticipated would happen. The only consolation for me these days is that it's no longer every few seconds that I feel this profound grief.


u/Charming_Sandwich_53 9d ago

I am very sorry for your loss. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. I am sending virtual hugs and prayers.! Grief sucks -and it is compounded for the death of a child.

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u/Looking_for_42 9d ago

I am so sorry. I lost my 35 year old son 11 months ago. I wish I could give you words of comfort, but for me, the grief is still an all-encompassing, crushing weight on my soul... sometimes I can barely breathe. I do know it will get better with time, but it has been a long, long year. I so completely feel for you.


u/runnergal1993 9d ago

I hugged my baby a little closer after reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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u/JennyW93 9d ago

I read someone describe grief as like a giant inflatable ball in your chest. You feel it crushing you inside constantly, but over time it deflates and you ‘only’ feel it when it hits the sides, but boy do you feel it. I’ve also seen it described as being in the sea, battling waves and knowing there’s a shark nearby, but over time the shark swims away and you get closer to the shore where the waves aren’t so brutal, even though they’re still there. I don’t know if it’s helpful for anyone, but it made it slightly more tolerable for me to be able to think of my grief visually like this.

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u/SeaworthinessOk8220 9d ago

It’s been 17 years since it happened for us. Take it a second, a minute, a day at a time. There is nothing I can say or do to make it easier :(


u/Glytterain 9d ago

I feel your pain so acutely. I lost my 37 year old son in April and the pain is just unbearable. The way you have described it is exactly how I feel. I’m constantly trying to figure out how to live in this world without him. I’m sorry that you are living in this hell.

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u/oam1989 9d ago

I witnessed the aftermath of that. I lost my best friend at 17 after a long battle with leukemia, and to this day, I still think about him. But his mother isn't the same as she used to be; she has recovered a lot, but it's evident that it took a significant toll on her.


u/gigithecrimejunkie 9d ago

Lost my best friend in a car wreck at 16. My life has never been the same since. I experienced such grief that it touched me every day of the rest of the next 40 years. I carry him with me always.

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u/oldnjgal 9d ago

Losing a child is soul crushing.

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u/zvxcon 9d ago

Agree. 25F, lost my baby and I feel like I’ve lived enough.


u/Exotic_Recognition_8 9d ago

43F I lost two of mine and it really is the worst feeling. Grief changed me beyond recognition.


u/zvxcon 9d ago

Condolences 😔 I know the grief

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u/RoronoaZorro 9d ago edited 9d ago

Stress. Grief. Trauma. Mental Illness. Losing a loved one way before their time at a young age (parent/sibling/close friend).

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u/Xmenenslaver 9d ago

Having a spouse that contributes nothing to your relationship and allows your family to slip further and further into debt without caring that you're all only a couple of bills away from bankruptcy.


u/CuriousRedditor98 9d ago

Very specific. Sorry if that’s the situation you’re in…

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u/Fried_egg_im_in_love 9d ago

I lived that.

At one point, mowing the lawn, I realized this would be my life…forever, unless I mustered the courage to get a divorce.

Divorce is hard. Alcohol is not your friend. It led to other bad outcomes.

But I am through that and happier now.

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u/Melancholic84 9d ago

I have been through war and i also lost my sister to a car accident, fair to say im 39 but i look 60.

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u/vasaryo 9d ago

Being homeless. It’ll make you mature right fast it will.

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u/ShapeSuspicious7198 9d ago

Reminiscing about the show "Dinosaurs"


u/leapingpuma 9d ago

I'm the baby, gotta love me!

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u/Prestigious_Front384 9d ago



u/MonkeyManJohannon 9d ago

I had to scroll WAY too far down this list to find this. Cigarettes will absolutely age a person incredibly efficiently, both visually and health wise.


u/MRJones47 9d ago

My sister smokes a lot and she's 5 yrs younger than me. She looks 15 yrs older and constant health issues.

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u/SweetJebus731 9d ago

Not to mention the money I could have saved if I’d never started smoking. I quit after 18 years of it. I could have bought a house otherwise.

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u/fortune0024 9d ago

Working in stressful environments

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u/Crackerpuppy 9d ago



u/justregularoleme 9d ago

Definitely, i got my first grey hairs just after i had kids.


u/BloodyNora78 9d ago

Having little ones is tough, but raising teens ages you in dog years.


u/Pineapple_Spenstar 9d ago

I asked my dad how he got through my (and my brothers' teenage years). He said, "don't you remember? I taught you how to use power tools, and bought you a runescape membership. You were too busy doing internet blacksmithing and making random shit in the shed to be a fuckhead. I wish you would've done more homework, but gotta pick your battles"

I think I'll employ a similar strategy


u/vanetti 9d ago

Your dad somehow unlocked the cheat code to teenage boys, and it had the added benefit of teaching you critical life skills. 12/10 dad, right there.


u/white__cyclosa 9d ago

Arming teens with power tools, that one could go either way. Glad it worked out!

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u/justregularoleme 9d ago

I'm not there yet, but i can only imagine. Little kids, little problems. Big children, big problems.


u/theservman 9d ago

Just wait until you have ADULT children. They make all kinds of mistakes, and you can't tell them what to do.

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u/Larnek 9d ago

I can't believe I had to scroll this far for kids. It's so obvious everywhere you look. Childless here and I look 10yrs younger than my peers at 40. And I sure haven't done a great job taking care of myself!

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u/LucyVialli 9d ago

Too dark of a tan (fake or real).


u/EugeneVictorDabs 9d ago

I have seen some seriously leathery people on the beach, lol


u/NibblesMcGiblet 9d ago

I have a coworker who does tanning beds for two months before her yearly spring cruise every year and it’s a real shame, instead of coming back looking like she was on vacation she just looks like she laid in a tanning bed for four months— leathery and a weird brown shade the skin doesn’t normally turn. I opt for sunscreen if I go somewhere warm, it works fine.

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u/ailish 9d ago

Skin cancer runs in my family, so I have been religious about high spf sun screen. As a result my skin is like ten years younger than the rest of me.

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u/Kindly-Try-7223 9d ago



u/notsoreallybad 9d ago

and at the same time it often mentally ages you down


u/Nordic_Blahaj 9d ago

Kind of like your mental age freezes at when the traumatic experience happened

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u/soldmyblood 9d ago

Not choosing the cup of a carpenter


u/MountainEyes13 9d ago

He chose….poorly.

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u/falconfetus8 9d ago

Being president. Look at Obama's hair in 2008 vs 2016!

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u/StraightFail4895 9d ago

CHILDREN. My boobs have aged 20 years.

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u/Corgihater 9d ago

when you receive a letter saying that taxes are due

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u/Successful_Ride6920 9d ago

(Multiple) tooth loss


u/SamiazaHeartsIPAs 9d ago

Exactly! I had my back teeth out when I was young and now I'm hearing words like, "bone loss" and it definitely ages your face. Kids! Do everything to save your teeth! I once read this on a dentist's website: Brush your teeth in the morning to keep your friends and in the evening to keep your teeth. 😄

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u/PisceS_Here 9d ago

sleepless nights


u/FirstTarget8418 9d ago

War. I went from 21 to 31 in 6 months.

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u/memphiscruisin 9d ago edited 9d ago

Worrying about aging

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u/Amazing_Top_6530 9d ago

I think something not talked about a lot is mindset. Like if someone views themselves as old and shouldn't do this or that, they're making aging faster for themselves. Affirmations can help.

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u/mageking1217 9d ago

Depression or general unhappiness in life

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u/Maleficent_Heat_6195 9d ago

Bad genes - like it or not. Some people smoke and drink their faces off and still look vibrant and healthy. Others eat well and exercise and look tired and lifeless

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u/manderifffic 9d ago

Asking them to make a phone with their hand

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u/Bruce_Illest 9d ago

Monocle and a Top Hat.

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u/Royal_Mcpoyle11 9d ago

Booze alters your sleep so it’s a double whammy. Sometimes I don’t even recognize my friends when they’re super hungover and didn’t sleep much. Puffy doesn’t even describe it

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u/noriflakes 9d ago edited 9d ago

Overuse of filler as well as some plastic surgeries, buccal fat removal for example. So many people that are only in their 20s get this stuff in an attempt to look younger, more snatched, etc. It ends up making them look 15-20 years older a lot of the time.

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u/Mollysaurus 9d ago

Starving yourself to lose weight. I look so much older in photos from my 20s than I do now at 45.

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u/kidfantastic 9d ago

Poorly applied makeup, particularly foundation.

I know, because I suck at applying foundation!

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u/mtg-Moonkeeper 9d ago

Finding out a band you listened to when they first came out is getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.


u/Simsandtruecrime 9d ago

Or a song your parents were convinced would send you directly to hell now playing jauntily in the grocery store

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u/LongAdx 9d ago

When they start saying things like, 'Back in my day...'

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