What isn't the flex many people think it is?

[u/LeatherFruitPF]

[u/Just-ThatOneGuy1123]

“I only got 4 hours of sleep” “Oh yeah well I got 2”

[u/314159265358979326 → u/Just-ThatOneGuy1123]

At engineering finals, everyone was always doing that. "I got 5." "Lucky, just 4 here." "4? I got 2".

And then me, cheerful and clean-shaven, "I got 9!"

The competition always stopped at that point.

[u/Chocolate_cake_123 → u/314159265358979326]

Tell me your secret to having 9 hours of sleep.

[u/314159265358979326 → u/Chocolate_cake_123]

I can't function with less so there's not much choice to be made.

[u/thomas_newton → u/314159265358979326]

I hear you. I need a good solid eight hours a night.

and then another twelve during the day.

[u/Lietenantdan]

Working 80 hours a week, getting little to no sleep.

[u/schaudhery → u/Lietenantdan]

Whenever someone tells me how many insane hours they work I ask “why” and they get all confused like why I’m not impressed. If you told me you work 2 hours a week and make $200K I’d be more impressed.

[u/abqkat → u/schaudhery]

I love my boss for this. She is shameless about taking her PTO (despite being pretty high up in the company), recognizes long hours are sometimes necessary but isn't impressed if it's an ongoing thing, and just all-around good leadership and example. It makes us all more honest about our workloads, time off, and other factors that affect our work. It's so batshit to me when bosses (at regular places, I don't mean like trauma surgeons or emergency workers) don't grasp how silly they seem acting like the world will end if they're not there

[u/inserttext1 → u/abqkat]

One of my bosses in my first job openly admitted to taking the day off to play the Zelda game that came out that day.

[u/MechanicalTurkish → u/inserttext1]

That’s absolutely what it’s for. Paid Time Off. It’s for you to do whatever the fuck you want.

[u/Emergency-Village191]

Not taking Sick days

[u/dudewheresmyebike → u/Emergency-Village191]

Yes, especially when they go to work sick and spread their germs to others.

Also, similarly, not using vacation accumulated time.

[u/sobrique → u/dudewheresmyebike]

This one is infuriating. I have a colleague who refuses to take a (paid) sick day. There's no consequences to doing so. Technically if you're off a lot then there might be, but for a 'normal person' amount of sick days, you lose NOTHING.

But instead he insists on coming into the office, doesn't even want to take medication (because he doesn't believe in it) and proceeds to hack and splutter germs all around the office.

Which of course then means another 5-10 people off ill over the next few weeks, who thankfully do take some sick leave.

[u/Jaereth → u/sobrique]

So a few years ago I told my manager as part of review i'd like to get out of my office and go to the 2nd floor. I'm now in a corner with floor to ceiling windows that overlook the forest behind the office as my work area.

One thing I LOVE is that it's all accountants up here - and if people come in hacking and coughing they will straight up call them out on it in front of everyone like "You're not up here spreading germs around are you? Are you sick?" and badger them to leave if they are.

This should be THE NORM.

[u/AdreKiseque → u/Jaereth]

I like how you list them all being accountants as just another good thing.

[u/Niamhmrn]

Boasting about how much something they’re wearing costs even though you know they can’t afford it

[u/Aurelene-Rose → u/Niamhmrn]

I honestly cannot fathom bragging about the price of something unless it's how little you got it for. Like "I got this $200 coat for $30 because it was the end of the season!" actually seems like something to be proud of, not bragging about spending a lot on something.

[u/SilverDarner → u/Aurelene-Rose]

“I got it at the thrift shop for $2!”

[u/goldcoast2011985 → u/SilverDarner]

Smells like R Kelly’s sheets, but it was 99 cents!

[u/CriscoCamping → u/goldcoast2011985]

Pissssssss

[u/patentmom → u/Aurelene-Rose]

I LOVE hearing about when someone gets an awesome bargain! You got your wedding dress for $10 at a thrift shop? I'm super jealous and stoked for you! You found a generic thing that works exactly like the brand-name thing for 90% off? AWESOME! Where can I get the generic?

It is SOOOO annoying when someone brags about spending a lot on something. I just hear ("you idiot") in my head. You spent $3000 on your dog's collar because it has Swarovski crystals? It looks like your dog is enjoying licking his butt more.

[u/effdubbs → u/patentmom]

I saw a meme once, to the effect of: “I’d rather have $3000 IN my purse than a $3000 purse.” Pretty well sums it up.

[u/_ICCULUS_ → u/effdubbs]

I'd rather have money than have people think I have money.

[u/disturbed3215 → u/Niamhmrn]

I worked with someone like this years ago. We had the same job and same title. We made the same amount. It was an entry level state job (35k year) it was salary and overtime wasn’t a thing.

He had a kid on the way with his girlfriend, no car, and made 35k. He started selling weed on the side to get more money and got busted and fired. He always bragged about his new Louis Vuitton clothes and accessories. When we cleaned out his desk we found receipts for almost 25k worth of Louis Vuitton stuff. I couldn’t believe it. It was like 6 items. We all just assumed it was fake knock off or he got good deals second hand.

All them money he spent to look cool when we knew he couldn’t afford it, ended up costing him his job because he couldn’t support the clothes and the kid, and the whole time we thought it was fake. Unreal.

[u/keenedge422 → u/disturbed3215]

I once had a student worker sitting in the office, trying to decide whether or not to buy a Gucci money clip.

"Dude, you make $10 an hour, working part time, and that money clip costs more than you'll make this week. We've got binder clips in that cabinet. You'll be better off with $200 in one of those than carrying a Gucci money clip with fuck all to put in it."

[u/CottageGiftsPosh → u/keenedge422]

I used a Sharpie & wrote Gucci on a small ziploc bag I keep my change in.

[u/BeardsuptheWazoo → u/disturbed3215]

He spent all that money and people thought the items were fake still. Lol.

[u/TearyEyeBurningFace → u/BeardsuptheWazoo]

Thats the thing tho. Most people with the real real are pretty low key about it.

[u/FaxMachineIsBroken → u/TearyEyeBurningFace]

Yeah cause they don't wanna get jumped for a $5,000 jacket or $10,000 watch. Idiots that flex wealth are quick to have it taken from them.

[u/Trollothisguy → u/BeardsuptheWazoo]

Oh, the irony 😂

[u/Ill_Back_284 → u/disturbed3215]

Makes me sad for them reading that...people are wild

[u/Ultrabigasstaco → u/disturbed3215]

Meanwhile I know a family worth 9 figures and they shop at belks 😂 even the people that can afford that stuff know it’s not worth it.

[u/bemused_alligators → u/Niamhmrn]

Last time I wore a suit I just couldn't shut up about how I found it at goodwill for $35. It was awesome. That's still the only suit I own.

[u/notgraceful11199]

The ceo of the company I work for was just featured on the cover of a magazine talking about how great their company culture is.

One of his points was how the company set up a program to annually nominate a coworker who can’t afford Christmas where their other employees donate to them. He used this to brag about our amazing culture

To me this reads as, we pay our employee so poorly that on an yearly basis we have so many employees who can’t afford Christmas we have to nominate who needs help the most and then we guilt trip our other grossly underpaid employees to compensate for it.

Edit: so basically any company that brags about culture due to their employees helping out other employees when it comes to financial stresses most likely cause by poor pay. I would say “donating” PTO falls into this category as well.

Edit 2:

I know in some cases this might be due to poor money management or too large of families. In this case it is not. They company has some highly questionable practices including lying about pay rates, not following through with raises, setting bonuses with unattainable KPIs, amongst others. I went into more details in some comments.
I am also a firm believer that a good company (and I work for a good company at my second job) does not request money/profit from their employees in any capacity especially a higher up employee asking for money from anyone below them. There’s scenarios where things like this work, but that is not the case here.

[u/optimushime → u/notgraceful11199]

Ebenezer Scrooge: “One of the reforms in my factory is to help our less-fortunate. Bob Cratchett asked me for a raise and so I had the factory workers pass a hat around to throw in a tuppence apiece. It really shows how the team comes together for each other, and I’m proud that I created that atmosphere for them.”

[u/notgraceful11199 → u/optimushime]

Man I would love to re-share the ceo’s linked in post with the article with that as the caption

[u/TheBirminghamBear → u/notgraceful11199]

For that post and so many like it, LinkedIn is one of the most disturbing and grossest places I've been.

[u/jaym9219 → u/TheBirminghamBear]

I can’t stand linkdin. The most fake, narcissistic social media platform to exist.

[u/mtv2002 → u/notgraceful11199]

So true. The school my wife works at does a can drive at Xmas and all the buildings compete who can donate the most. Her school is always dead last. When the principal tried to guilt the staff into "motivating" the students my wife casually brought up that the majority of the kids at this building would be receiving the goods being donated....all the sudden it was crickets.

[u/tn-dave → u/mtv2002]

We had a “Christmas Angel” tree where I used to work. “Pick a family who works here that is in need this holiday season” This company does close to a billion per year. They couldn’t cut a few 500 dollar checks and not expect employees to help?

[u/prison-schism → u/tn-dave]

Holy shit i run a Subway and the owner gives us huge Xmas bonuses every year right down to the 16 year olds who work 8 hours a week... and we also get paid more than any other place like ours in the area....i have a business degree and there is definitely a reason i stay there.

If one person can do it, wtf is wrong with the places like you used to work.....

[u/Sir-Hops-A-Lot → u/prison-schism]

Reminds me of that PC memory company in the 90s - I can't recall their name, but they were in the Bay area and had a sign in their window saying "No, we are not hiring now or in the foreseeable future"

It was because every year the two guys who started the company would take the end of year profits, pay themselves a low, but reasonable amount, put a percentage back into the company and then cut a bonus check to every employee based on seniority. The year I was reading about in the WSJ the guy in the mailroom received a $75,000 (yes, seventy five thousand dollar) bonus.

They were bought out and that perk was removed by the new owners, of course.

[u/notgraceful11199 → u/mtv2002]

Oh man, I remember participating in a food drive like that growing up. I’d use my babysitting money and the read all the ads to find the best deals/coupons. Then my mom would take me to buy whatever I decided on. It never crossed my mine until just now privileged I was to be able to have the experience growing up.

[u/920fosterhouse → u/notgraceful11199]

I thought donating PTO was normal until I started at my current workplace. On my very first day employed I had as much PTO and sick days as I did after five years at my old company. It took five years there to accumulate what I got automatically on day 1 at my new job and could use immediately. My SO passed away extremely unexpectedly and suddenly earlier this year and this new job automatically extended my bereavement days without me needing to ask for it and told me to take a month of paid time off after that (outside of my PTO), and I could work from home until I felt ready to start a hybrid schedule. My old job I would have gotten two days off, needed to burn through my PTO, and then either come back to work or ask for PTO donations.

[u/notgraceful11199 → u/920fosterhouse]

I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you made the change when you did and were are a company that allowed you to take the time you needed.

But also Is your new job hiring?

[u/angelzpanik → u/920fosterhouse]

That's amazing! Seriously.

When my mom died unexpectedly and I had to take more time than bereavement offered where I worked, I was fired.

Same thing happened to my dad, in a different state than I was in at the time, when his wife (my stepmom) died. He had been there over 20 years. He died a month later from complications after a suicide attempt.

Hold onto that job, it sounds like they actually look out for their employees!

[u/marilern1987 → u/notgraceful11199]

That’s so out of touch, I don’t even know where to start

To your edit, I worked for a company for many years that had a fund, if someone faced hardship, like illness, house burned down or something like that, it was something that could help. In fact, I had a colleague who did benefit from this fund, when she became very unexpectedly ill, and had to miss months of work. She did get disability pay, but it didn’t always cut it. This fund was made of voluntary donations from employees, and a lot of people simply had a couple dollars deducted from their paycheck. It doesn’t sound like much but there were 700-800 people who worked there, so if everyone gave a dollar, that’s $800 per pay period.

But again, it was voluntary.

The problem: there was always someone in HR, or some slick accounting bastard, who could just NOT keep their fucking hands off that fund. One incident involved a very public arrest at my company, where the woman who was in charge of benefits, cleaned the account. This was 15 years ago. the local news picked it up, and everything. Ever since they managed to replenish the fund, but every now and again someone was quietly let go from accounting, more often than not, because the embezzled money from this fund. Because someone was given access to it who shouldn’t have been

And the people who did this, were exactly the people who did not need such a fund.

[u/technos → u/marilern1987]

The problem: there was always someone in HR, or some slick accounting bastard, who could just NOT keep their fucking hands off that fund.

A place I worked for in the nineties had the 'Employee Fund'. It was even dollar matched by the owner himself and used to throw parties if it wasn't spent, so out of the hundred or so people that worked there were only a handful that didn't give at least a couple bucks a week.

December 20th, 1995. One of the machine operators, Frank, got t-boned by a drunk on the way home from Christmas shopping.

The next morning Frank's wife called with the news. He was okay-ish but he wouldn't be in for a while. The doctors thought he had a concussion and were keeping him for observation. Oh, and their car had burned to a crisp, with all the presents inside.

The owner went into gear. Christmas was a big holiday for him, so he arranged a rental to be delivered to Frank's wife, for payroll to do Frank's check a day early, and then he headed to the bank to grab two grand in cash from the employee fund to make sure Frank's kids had a good Christmas.

Except that the employee fund didn't have $2,000 in it. It didn't even have $200. The owner withdrew the money from his personal checking account and Frank's family did, indeed, have a good Christmas as a result.

The plant shut down normally on the 24th, and, when we came back on the 3rd, the accounting department was not just missing, they were vanished. Their offices had been stripped bare. Their computers were gone.

And, as I later learned, of the four people in that department at least three had been stealing.

• One was faking tuition reimbursements and pocketing a few hundred dollars a month. He was basically just whiting out lines on receipts actual employees had submitted and then resubmitting copies with his name on them.

• Another was taking kickbacks to cut checks to vendors and pocketing a grand a month. 'Want your money in less than three or four months? It'll cost you!', a kind of reverse net-30, if you will.

• The third had been using the employee fund like her own personal bank account and the payroll settlement account like a credit card and generating fake bank statements to hide everything. Saks Fifth Avenue, plane tickets to Mexico, gambling, etc. The total was well over $100,000 in just the last four years, and she'd been there for six.

The fourth was fired simply because what good is an employee who doesn't notice everyone else in his department is fucking thieving?

The owner and I did their jobs really, really badly until he could hire back a retired employee and she could bring in some temps and get them up to speed; I knew how to operate Peachtree and had recently gotten a B in 'Principles of Accounting', he had authority to sign checks and tell people to fuck off, so that's how it was for almost a month.

Our vendors were really forgiving, thank $deity, especially the ones that were being slow-paid in the past, and the clients weren't too bad either after they'd learned we'd let them get away with nearly anything once they'd explained it in plain English.

[u/Okuden → u/notgraceful11199]

sounds really embarrassing to be called out as the poorest in the company...

[u/CoffeeParachute → u/Okuden]

Just imagine being singled out for being the most poor and worst off employee, then have to thank everyone for publicly pitying you, and you cant say shit because that makes you ungrateful and you know your family does need the help because of the same shit company you work for doesn't pay you enough. And on top of all that, you find out your over paid CEO is bragging about this practice. How fucking low can your moral get.

[u/notgraceful11199 → u/Okuden]

I didn’t even think about that either

[u/hurricane1985]

Working yourself to the point of having absolutely no time for yourself.

Work ethic is good, strong work ethic is great. Living to work is not great.

[u/One-Permission-1811 → u/hurricane1985]

The guy training me to weld pipes told me I was lazy when I said that I don’t think about work at all when I leave for the day. Guy works 85 hour weeks, literally runs around his area, and works through his breaks and lunch. He’s only 45 and looks 75, can’t hear shit, his wife left him because he was never home, and his spine has a stoop from welding bent over all the time.

I told him that it’s not lazy to prioritize my own health and happiness over making a company money that I’ll never see, and that he’s hurting himself and his family by working so much. He didn’t like that lol

[u/ewan82 → u/One-Permission-1811]

Yep, I have friends that work 7 days a week and when they do have time off you know what they talk about? Yep, work. I am not even interested in talking about work when I am at work, let alone outside of it.

[u/SuperPotatoThrow → u/One-Permission-1811]

The whole "' 'urry it up and git er' done" attitude among welders and contractors alike needs to fucking die. I'm a hard worker and always have been but I'm not jumping through my ass every day. If I die tomorrow ill just get replaced by someone else the next day and my company wouldn't give a single flying fuck.

All these old dudes with a thousand health problems (I can only imagine why) running around completely stressed out of their minds acting like the sky is falling over redundant tasks we do every single fucking day on every job drive me completely fucking insane I cannot work around them.

[u/Mackem101 → u/SuperPotatoThrow]

When I first joined the workforce as a fresh faced teen, a sage old bloke gave me some wise words.

"The advert for your job will be in the paper before your obituary."

[u/SookieCat26 → u/Mackem101]

These days they won’t even bother to advertise. They’ll just give your work to your colleagues so they can “cut costs.”

[u/hrolfirgranger → u/One-Permission-1811]

I'm a carpenter and I have a coworker who has a bit of this attitude, he's always saying "we'll just work through lunch" and he often works overtime and doesn't put it on his timesheet to the point he's lost as much as 10 hours of overtime pay for no reason. His wife gets very reasonably upset about it too.

[u/macaulaymcculkin1 → u/hrolfirgranger]

Anyone that works at their job for free is an idiot. Your coworker is no exception.

[u/happy--muffin → u/macaulaymcculkin1]

Seriously what a dummy. If you finish your work early, you are only rewarded with more work. Not to mention he’ll fuck it up for others. Finished a 20 hour project in 15? I guess we’re budgeting too much time for this project since John can finish it in 15. This is now a 15 hour job and you underperformers are slacking

[u/wrnrg → u/happy--muffin]

I do the opposite.

I finish my work in half an hour and tell everyone it took 2 hours.

If something took me 2 hours, I log it as 8 hours.

I work from home, but I used to do this when I was going into the office.

No one does my job, and no one can, so they take my word for it.

When something is needed quickly, I perform miracles by doing an "8-hour job" in 4. I tell them I put everything else aside to get this done.

But, you have to condition your job early on.

[u/The_Burning_Wizard → u/macaulaymcculkin1]

I always went with the whole "give and take" approach. I know that my job has its ups and downs when it comes to how busy I am. I will happily work the extra hours during the ups, on the basis that when things are quiet I may slack off a bit during the downs (odd early finish, longer lunches, etc).

However if anyone senior enough where to complain about the slacking in the down periods, then goodwill is gone and it's now "work to rule" time. Now I'm part of the SLT here, I can't slack off quite so much....

[u/maclunkey91 → u/One-Permission-1811]

You’d think that welding pipes is the kind of job that you don’t need to take home

[u/One-Permission-1811 → u/maclunkey91]

Right? I literally can’t bring my work home. It’s too damn big

[u/dtcguy → u/One-Permission-1811]

Sounds like this man is a welding machine, with the crook in his back he can make welds at angles very few can

[u/magnumpi123 → u/One-Permission-1811]

That’s what lazy people would say…..only kidding lol

[u/One-Permission-1811 → u/magnumpi123]

Fuck yeah I’m lazy! I hate working. I’d rather just make weird shit all day but I got bills to pay lol

[u/wrnrg → u/One-Permission-1811]

I'm lazy as fuck and I'm proud of it.

I could easily spend all my days just watching TV and playing video games and not feel like I wasted my time.

People look at me like I'm crazy.

"I have to do something productive."

Well, I dont.

At work, I find every shortcut I can to reduce the effort I put into work while still being as or more productive.

Work smarter, not harder.

[u/NeverNeverSometimes → u/hurricane1985]

Guy I work with constantly puts in like 80 hour weeks and always brags that "I make as much as the bosses upstairs."

No. Your paychecks may be a similar amount but you're not making as much as them, you're still making less than half of what they make but youre working twice as much.

[u/RadicalSnowdude → u/NeverNeverSometimes]

Sounds like a bunch of trucking guys I see. Bragging about making as much as engineers but they either don’t realize or don’t want you to know that they only make that much because they work double the hours.

I left trucking because I had zero time for myself. And I was told that I had no work ethic. Yeah, I have no work ethic because I didn’t want to keep working 80 hours a week.

[u/interprime → u/hurricane1985]

There’s a guy in my office who’s like this. For his daughter’s graduation a couple of years ago he took a half day. Came into the office at midday almost in a panic. Went to the graduation in his work clothes and went straight to the office the second it was over while his family all went back home and had a party without him.

His mom died a couple of months ago. He was in the office the literal morning after she passed. He took a day off for the funeral, that was it. Kept saying for weeks afterward that it was the first day he took off in 11 years.

He thinks he’s impressing everyone by never taking time off, arriving 30 minutes early to the office and leaving 30 minutes after everyone. But even our boss thinks he’s a fucking moron and, around this time every year, always encourages him to use his PTO. He always refuses.

[u/twohrdrive → u/hurricane1985]

Living to work is not admirable, nor is it a heroic sacrifice. It's not something to aspire to. It's just sad.

[u/No-Information-8893]

Wearing designer with huge logos

[u/Ever_More_Art → u/No-Information-8893]

Yeah, paying to be a walking advertisement is not a flex at all

[u/perpetualmotionmachi → u/No-Information-8893]

That's the thing. The Gucci, Luis Vuitton, etc. brands, it's their cheap lines that have the logos all over. They have more expensive stuff that doesn't have the logos

[u/seaSculptor → u/perpetualmotionmachi]

Logo laden clothes are the ad-supported tier of fashion.

[u/Cum-in-My-Wife → u/seaSculptor]

We taking bets on how long someone steals this for a r/showerthoughts?

[u/Loverboy_91 → u/Cum-in-My-Wife]

Now that you said it I guarantee someone will.

[u/mooingmango → u/No-Information-8893]

They should pay us to wear their billboard advertisement, not the other way round.

[u/Glittering-Grape-386 → u/No-Information-8893]

"The tote bag" by MJ 😬 looks so cheap

[u/GoldenGoof19 → u/Glittering-Grape-386]

Ex-neighbor gave me a Louis Vuitton Neverfull tote bag, her ex-boyfriend had given it to her and she’d never used it. Still in the bag/box/sales bag with the receipt. She was moving and didn’t have the time/energy to sell it.

That one was made of relatively nice materials, but not like… $2,000 nice. At least not for me. Plus all the logos just make it look cheap to me. Sold it on eBay, had to pay to have it verified as real even with all the bags/boxes/receipts. But someone paid $2,100 for it so 🤷‍♀️

But objectively so many of those bags are ugly. Idk why people like them.

[u/CrownOrange → u/No-Information-8893]

This. I’ve heard it said that wearing all designer logo everything had the essence of a poor person cosplaying as a rich one and now I can’t unsee that 🥴

[u/Eli1026]

Your lack of sleep. You're doing significant damage to your brain and self.

[u/Camimo666 → u/Eli1026]

For me, its not a brag. Its a cry for help

[u/fomaaaaa → u/Camimo666]

I crack jokes about it because i don’t laugh, i’d cry

[u/DidntWantSleepAnyway → u/Camimo666]

Despite my username…hard same.

[u/lavegasola → u/Camimo666]

Fucking same

[u/Unumbotte → u/Camimo666]

Oh what do you know, you're probably just a sleep deprivation hallucination.

[u/arctic-apis → u/Eli1026]

Im not bragging about this. I can’t sleep. I get 6 hours on a good night. I would love to sleep ten hours a night but I’m not tired then when I am tired I lay there and close my eyes and lay there with my eyes closed and eventually it’s time to go to work

[u/BaaBaaTurtle → u/arctic-apis]

If I go to bed early, I wake up early. If I go to bed late, I wake up early. If I'm in an insomnia cycle I wake up at 2 am unable to go back to sleep and I eventually get anxiety about going to sleep and can't fall asleep and then eventually I'm so exhausted I have to take a day to just recuperate.

Who thinks that's a flex? It's a huge burden. I'm insanely jealous of people who just.... Sleep.

[u/Original_Gentleman → u/BaaBaaTurtle]

I’m relieved to see others talk about this. 6 hours is a normal nights sleep, no matter what I do or when I go to sleep.

[u/sunnbeta → u/BaaBaaTurtle]

Insomnia sucks, wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s been off and on for me for a long time, but combination of therapy and exercise has me in a pretty good place recently.

This “flex” is like the Mark Wahlberg assholes I WAKE UP AT 2AM FOR MY WORKOUT BEFORE I EVEN START MY HUSTLE, like ok bro cool

[u/bad_robot_monkey → u/Eli1026]

Oh, I talk about this a the time. Mostly because I’m in my mid 40s and incredibly alarmed that I average under six hours but can’t seem fix it.

[u/GeddesPrime]

Number of followers you have on social media.

[u/PMBSteve]

Replying to someone on twitter and mocking them for having no followers

[u/DrummerBob10 → u/PMBSteve]

I still never understood that.

[u/sketchysketchist → u/DrummerBob10]

Simple. Some dumbasses insisted that the number of followers you have dictate your worth. Even if you use it casually and not to be a brand.

[u/Disastrous_Ad626]

How many times they went to jail and how big their car payments are.

[u/HaikuBotStalksMe → u/Disastrous_Ad626]

Fuck you, I'll flex all I want.

0 times jail, $0 car payment.

[u/Disastrous_Ad626 → u/HaikuBotStalksMe]

Look at this guy 0 for 0. That's what I call a loser!

[u/Alarming-Complaint47]

Being proud about being uneducated. Bragging about having never read a book. "Went to the school of hard knocks" type of shit annoys me. I have no problem with someone who isn't educated. But if you're flexing about it, you're a moron.

[u/PharahThePanda → u/Alarming-Complaint47]

I currently work with a guy who was homeschooled all his life (not that homeschooling means uneducated). He brags about being homeschooled anytime someone mentions education and shits on everyone who went to public school or college, calling it a stupid waste of time, money and feels sorry for anyone who goes. He says things like, "I've never had a bully, but it can't be that bad." And "I don't understand why teenagers off themselves, life isn't that hard for them."

Very much lacking in the social skills department, if you ask me.

[u/ladyoftheseine → u/PharahThePanda]

I have a family member like this (an in-law). She brags about being street-smart, not having student debt and how my partner and I are dumb because who would want to spend money on college, and how she's hot shit because she's a waitress and has all this money that she makes with tips that she doesn't have to report to the IRS. Every time my partner has an accomplishment, she always wants to one-up him with something completely unrelated.

But when she gets hit with a huge expense (like a car accident because she was driving drunk and high, has to go to the hospital and pay out of pocket because she has no insurance), suddenly everything sucks because she only makes $300.00/mo.

I'm glad I don't have to interact with her on the regular.

[u/Pudding_Hero → u/ladyoftheseine]

She makes 300/month and brags about it. Lol that’s crazy

[u/Tiffyleigh98 → u/Alarming-Complaint47]

“School of hard knocks” in their Facebook bio is so cringe to me 😂

[u/AnytimeInvitation → u/Tiffyleigh98]

Education: school of hard knocks

Work: living my life

[u/Azrai113 → u/Alarming-Complaint47]

I always feel a little bit sad for people like that. I always imagine they were shamed or bullied for an education that was beyond their control and "bragging" about being uneducated is a way to emotionally (if not in reality) take their power back.

If they're "bragging" to push the "self made" narrative, I recognize that if they had actually received an education, they would know that most genuinely "self made" people taught themselves. It's not that they were against knowledge and learning, they just aquired it in an unconventional way.

[u/gizmob27]

All their ex’s are crazy

[u/Poliosaurus → u/gizmob27]

Ah yes, I’m sure you aren’t the common denominator lol!!!

[u/TheBadMonkie → u/Poliosaurus]

The common denominator is that they all live in Texas

[u/tyedyehippy → u/TheBadMonkie]

And that's why you hang your hat in Tennessee?

[u/jaycuboss → u/Poliosaurus]

Hahahaha!

*Looks around nervously

[u/AdventurousCoach6654]

Being proud about being “brutally honest” when they’re just rude

[u/FILTER_OUT_T_D → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

I liked the line from Glass Onion

“It's a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth.”

[u/dopamineslotmachine → u/FILTER_OUT_T_D]

"All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness." —Tennessee Williams

[u/garvisgarvis → u/dopamineslotmachine]

He really had a way with words. Shoulda been a writer.

[u/FriendaDorothy → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

Who was it that said "Brutally honest people enjoy the brutality more than the honesty"?

[u/nmklpkjlftmch → u/FriendaDorothy]

Can I be brutally honest with you? If you weren't so goddam lazy and bothered looking it up, you'd know it was Richard Needham. 😉

[u/clevererthandao → u/nmklpkjlftmch]

Perfection

[u/seanofkelley → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

Just once I want someone to say "Can I be brutally honest? You are a super cool person and I like spending time with you."

[u/FrankTheMagpie → u/seanofkelley]

I'm going to start pulling this. Honey we need to have a very serious talk, should we get pizza or burgers

[u/SparkMandrill90 → u/FrankTheMagpie]

Oh man, I did this to a friend in college twice. We had only known each other for like a month. Drunk at a party I walked up to him and said, "I want you to be totally honest with me, and don't take my feelings into consideration at all. Do they have any straws around here?". 3 years later he has a serious girlfriend, he tells me she's coming over and I say, "She is, I think there's something I need to tell you, I really don't like George Lopez can we watch something else."

He told me later on both times I sent him into a panic mode only to be totally relieved.

[u/PenisGenus → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

"You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole."

[u/Herbdontana → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

Yeah and them “tellin it like it is” is often a vague post on social media followed by, you know who you are.

[u/Moonskaraos → u/AdventurousCoach6654]

I’m so blunt. I have no filter!

No, Karen, you’re just an asshole.

[u/KryssCom → u/Moonskaraos]

I've been seeing "I'm just a recovering people pleaser!" in exactly the same context quite a bit recently.

[u/Furrybumholecover → u/KryssCom]

It's always the people that have only ever been known to be assholes that are suddenly recovering from being people pleasers too.

[u/Ok_Appearance8866]

Never calling in sick for work. Stay the fuck home if you’re sick

[u/Voyager5555]

Showing up to work or class when you're deathly ill.

[u/AdSouth5657]

Men bragging that they've never changed one of their kids' diapers in their lifetime. Basically you've just outed yourself as a shitty, uninvolved parent and a shitty partner.

[u/TrooperJohn]

Declaring yourself an alpha male. I guess that means something in your little subculture, but to the rest of us, that's just head-scratchingly silly.

[u/Tokugawa → u/TrooperJohn]

If you have to tell people, the you're not.

[u/R50cent → u/Tokugawa]

"if" you tell people, you aren't.

Alpha pack theory was debunked years and years ago.

They're just narcissists with rage problems.

[u/droi86 → u/TrooperJohn]

I'm more like a release candidate male, there's some small bugs here and there, but most features work

[u/qexecuteurc → u/droi86]

Same haha every time I see alpha male, I can only think that I’d rather be beta or production. Alpha is just the inferior version.

[u/GreyMatter22 → u/TrooperJohn]

If someone is telling you that they are an alpha-male, then that should be a give away that they got some self-esteem issues.

[u/Pythonixx → u/TrooperJohn]

I found the best tweet that said “the idea of alpha males is so funny because guys literally made up an upper class and then put themselves in it. Okay if you’re an alpha male then I’m a turbo dude. That’s one level higher. You wouldn’t understand because you’re just an alpha male”

[u/EngineeringNeverEnds → u/Pythonixx]

Lol, people already did this with "sigma males". You gotta go a level beyond that with your turbo dude concept.

[u/GentleMonsta → u/EngineeringNeverEnds]

Giga Chad?

[u/plumukulele → u/TrooperJohn]

“Sigma male” or any comparison to American psycho is also not a flex and I can’t believe we have to remind people of that.

[u/Arta_Dratista → u/plumukulele]

The guys who compare themselves to Patrick Bateman would be crying if they knew the book was written by a gay man, and the movie was directed by a woman, and that it was all a satire.

[u/Poliosaurus → u/TrooperJohn]

The guy who originally wrote alpha male stuff about wolves recanted his whole statement. His new research says different wolves and people lead at different times. So, basically, if you’re an alpha male, it’s more likely you’re just an asshole.

[u/Stellers90]

Driving around in a $50,000 new car while not being able to cover a $1000 emergency

[u/jbluft1894]

Having a work calendar booked wall-to-wall with meetings. It’s usually an executive or upper management type.

Being on calls all day is not good for you or the company. If you’re in charge you can decide which meetings are worth your attendance. Also should be delegating more.

Finally, not leaving anyone else a chance to ever book a meeting with you is just an a-hole move.

[u/Individual-Army811 → u/jbluft1894]

Pro tip: These are also the people that say, "Book some time with me to discuss x". My reply is always, "No, you book time with me. Your schedule is jam-packed, so you figure out where to fit me in." It's win-win for me: I don't have to go to another meeting and end up doing it my way.

[u/BatDamon1]

being disrespectful to the disabled or weird kids as a joke.

[u/ThatOneNinja]

How much of a drinker they are.

[u/Lostboy_30 → u/ThatOneNinja]

Anyone who boasts about heavy drinking past college has issues.

[u/mlennox81 → u/Lostboy_30]

Thats why I just hide my drinking from my family, friends and coworkers! No issues here thanks!

[u/kittengoesrawr → u/mlennox81]

Same! I keep my shame in private.

[u/fuckedfonances]

Buying $640/month over 8-9 years cars.

[u/entechad → u/fuckedfonances]

That’s a very specific number, lol.

Sorry dude, didn’t mean to brag about my 2017 Maserati Ghibli. The only reason I got it was because I was trying to keep up with you driving your new mid engine 23’ stingray, BRAD!

[u/Camimo666 → u/entechad]

Not totally related or relevant but yesterday i saw a post where a guy had purchased the car of his dreams and someone lit it on fire.

It was like a 2003 honda. It was honestly so adorable

[u/badgeringthewitness → u/Camimo666]

a guy had purchased the car of his dreams and someone lit it on fire.

It was honestly so adorable

Ummm...

[u/puma_soup]

working overtime without overtime pay.

[u/Dune1008]

Literally anything you have to try flexing. The most genuinely impressive things by nature do not require you to rub them in peoples faces.

[u/Mobabyhomeslice]

Bagging a cheater.

If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you!

[u/B-L-O-C-K-Ss → u/Mobabyhomeslice]

Also, people who brag about cheating/treating their significant other like shit “CiTy GiRlS/BoYs uP” , naw fam you’re just a piece of shit human

[u/_Ali_77_]

A car with a monthly payment equivalent to your rent that you can barely afford

[u/RobotStorytime]

"I tell it like it is."

No you're just a bitch.

[u/distantapplause → u/RobotStorytime]

Ever notice how people who 'tell it like it is' never like 'being told how it is'?

[u/THIS_bitchISbananas → u/RobotStorytime]

Exactly, I was this way for a while when I was younger. News flash: If you have to “tell it like it is” you’re likely in survival mode, overly-sensitive, and threatened by other people’s behavior or short comings. Happier or better adjusted people are much more able to let things go, and be less affected.

[u/all_hail_to_me]

Leaving tags on clothes/hats/shoes. Just looks like you’re planning to return it.

[u/aphilosopherofsex → u/all_hail_to_me]

Oh no flex there, I’m actually just stupid.

[u/Kindly_Ad7608]

doing your charity “over there” and for all the world to see.

[u/Ok_Interview9441 → u/Kindly_Ad7608]

What do you mean by “over there?”

[u/tellevee]

Not doing something. Like not watching a popular show, not drinking coffee, etc etc. the amount of people who say these things as if they want a fucking medal for it is astounding.

[u/ruralexcursion → u/tellevee]

I never, ever wear medals... ever

[u/tellevee → u/ruralexcursion]

WHAT, YOU WANT A FUCKING MEDAL OR SOMETH-….. wait….

[u/cheesefeast → u/tellevee]

Give me a medal, I deserve a medal for being so brave as to not drink coffee (mainly because I’m afraid I’ll shit my pants at work but thats neither here nor there)

[u/ButtholeQuiver → u/cheesefeast]

Look at Big Shot here who never shits their pants at work, you want a medal for that too?

[u/Last_School4790 → u/ButtholeQuiver]

Username checks out.

[u/DizzyLead]

Calling themselves “entrepreneurs.” Dude, I know you’re in an MLM.

[u/truthhurts2222222]

Bragging about not wearing sunscreen. Enjoy your premature aging and wrinkles, dumbass!

[u/WhiteRaven42 → u/truthhurts2222222]

I don't wear sunscreen.

I just hate the sun and avoid it.

[u/2Payneweaver]

Being an influencer

[u/SamuelWesting]

Natural childbirth. Crossfit. Perfect attendance.

[u/Safe_Sector_8526 → u/SamuelWesting]

When I told my ex that I was a c-section baby he told me “when we have kids, you will give birth” (meaning he “chose” natural birth for me). If that were even something I had control over, he certainly wouldn’t be the one making that decision. I still can’t wrap my head around how much of a control freak he was. Thankfully, he’s no longer a part of my life.

[u/girl_with_a_401k → u/Safe_Sector_8526]

If a child came out of your body, you gave birth. There's no way to do it that isn't unbelievably painful.

So glad he's your ex because what a fuckin nut.

[u/Broad-Lion-1066]

Boasting/bragging about lots of money or material things.

Move in silence.. why does everyone care so much about image?

[u/AtomicPlatypus45 → u/Broad-Lion-1066]

To quote the great lyrical philosopher Lil Wayne "Real Gs move in silence like lasagna"

[u/WrinklyScroteSack → u/AtomicPlatypus45]

Which is crazy considering how much he brags about his wealth. Lol

He named his group young money

[u/Affectionate-Arm-405 → u/Broad-Lion-1066]

I think a lot of these flexes are evolutionary traits. Probably for mating. Bragging about money (resources) to attract a mate. Peacock rattling his feathers to attract a female

[u/barry3428]

Westerners moving to Dubai and flaunting their new lavish lifestyle. You’re basically validating the use of slaves to build that dystopic shithole

[u/CameoProtagonist → u/barry3428]

Westerners moving to Dubai for work are part of the slave economy, too. 'migrant labour' and 'expat' are not the gap they seem to think.

[u/Griffin880]

Flashing large amounts of cash. It's just makes it look like that's all the money you have, and you are too poor to have a bank account.

[u/Moist-Dance-1797]

Telling everyone how "blessed" you are on social media. Gimme a break.

[u/Runningaroundnyc]

Working multiple jobs. “Hustle culture” or having a side job, or bragging about what you do in the side for extra money. Most of the time we actually NEED the money, and as a society we are bragging about needing to work more than one job to pay our bills. Working 50-60 hours a week or much more isn’t a flex. It kind of just sucks.

[u/Sirlink360]

Any class that brags how low the percentage pass rate is

“Only 15% of this class gets a passing grade” okay then you’re teaching it wrong or it’s bad material or your testing incorrectly. do better.

It’s almost like a badge a class will wear on their description as if it’s a good thing.

[u/buckyhermit]

Perfect attendance in school.

As an adult, as I've noticed kids with stuff like health issues, family issues, etc. where they have no choice but to miss school, I've come to realize that perfect attendance isn't a flex. It's just having luck in life circumstances.

[u/Pixelated_Penguin808 → u/buckyhermit]

Sometimes (A lot?) it's not even luck.

There were 2 kids in my elementary school classes who got the perfect attendance award every year, and both were friends of mine at the time, so I know they occasionally went in sick and were miserable.

Both had moms that thought the perfect attendance award was a big deal for some reason and so sent their sons in to school to play Typoid Mary. This is ages ago and long before Covid was a concern of course, but still. The flu is something you should stay home for too.

[u/YounomsayinMawfk → u/buckyhermit]

I had perfect attendance from around 3rd grade through high school. Some of it was luck like avoiding accidents that would immobilize me but most of it was my parents not caring how sick I was.

A cold? Fuck you, school!

Fever? Fuck you, school!

Chicken Pox? Fuck you, school!

[u/earther199]

Having a big dick doesn’t make you gods gift to women.

[u/nevalutionary]

Oversharing the honeymoon phase of a relationship on social media.

[u/popsistops]

"I've had Covid 4 times already".

[u/centomila]

As a noob Reddit user, I still don't get the karma thing.

[u/t20six → u/centomila]

have an upvote!

[u/Pixelated_Penguin808 → u/centomila]

Have another.

It is (mostly) pointless. The only real use for karma is that some subs have a karma threshold to participate, so *maybe* a new user / handle has to clear some fairly low hurdle to post.

Otherwise it doesn't do anything.