r/MurderedByWords 14d ago

What is it with washed up 90's actors?

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35.0k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

2.3k

u/Sycou 14d ago

The AR in AR-15 stands for, "A Rock"

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u/Mods_R_Loathesome 14d ago

Awesome rhinoceros

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u/Duderiffica 14d ago

Awesome rhinoceros in bad hands killed Abel. Awesome rhinoceros in good hands killed Goliath. It’s not about the rhinoceros. Regardless of how awesome the rhinoceros may or may not be , keep me as far away from rhinoceroses as possible. Take it however you like.

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u/Ba_Sing_Saint 14d ago

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u/Accendil 14d ago

There is no rock in Ba Sing Se.

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u/Ba_Sing_Saint 14d ago

There’s actually a ton of rocks in Ba Sing Se. The whole city is made out of them.

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u/SisyphusAndMyBoulder 14d ago

There is no Ba Sing Se

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u/NickyBars 14d ago

Yes there is, there is a war and that's why we need guns!!

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u/SisyphusAndMyBoulder 14d ago

Sir, this is Ba Sing Se, not America. We don't need guns.

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u/dudleydigges123 14d ago

Sir this is a Cabbage Stand...

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u/nodnodwinkwink 14d ago

Sidenote; rhinoceroses are awesome

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u/Cythis138 14d ago

No one needs an assault rock that can fire a hundred pebbles a second.

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u/SpecificSony 14d ago

Assault rock fifteen

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u/The_cats_return 14d ago

"The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!"

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u/NachoHuckleberry 14d ago

It doesn’t stand for assault rifle either.

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u/Relative-Eye-5949 14d ago

It stands for Armalite, not assault rifle.

Just in case you didn't know, a surprising amount of morons don't.

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u/Mortwight 14d ago

I boulder is technically a rock. But really this feels like the next viral challenge.

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u/qlz19 14d ago

Exactly, this is limited thinking. Go big. A fuckin asteroid killed the dinosaurs. An asteroid is just an assault rock.

ban asteroids

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u/EccentricHubris 14d ago

A S S A U L T R O C K

That's a new one. I'm using this to describe anything that's just a suped up version of something else. The possibilities are endless, like fire hose is just and Assualt Water gun XD

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/28Hz 14d ago

Assault String

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u/Wall_of_Denial 14d ago

>Assault String

From the makers of Silly String™!

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u/Starfox-sf 14d ago

No an assault silly string

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u/StoneyBolonied 14d ago

Or det-cord.... aka 'serious string'

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u/TellTaleTank 14d ago

Nah, that's still an Assault Rock, just with a stock for accuracy.

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u/marginwalker55 14d ago

Use a pan and you’ve got yourself an assault wok

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u/trav-el-dad 14d ago

While wearing a frilly sweater, i.e. assault frock.

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u/qlz19 14d ago

merica

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u/Hiseworns 14d ago

A(ssault)merica

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u/Cyberzombie23 14d ago

'MURICA FUCK YEAH!!!!!! 😎👍🇱🇷🦆🇱🇷🦆🇱🇷

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u/HUNT3DHUNT3R 14d ago

My legally owned, medicinal assault rock

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u/Kielbasa_Nunchucka 14d ago

medicinal rocks, you say...

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/UNC_Samurai 14d ago

medicinal assault rock

He’s the one they call “Dr Feelgood”…

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u/HUNT3DHUNT3R 14d ago

With a Medicinal Assault Rock i can guarantee that at the very least you wont remember feeling bad

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u/J_train13 14d ago

ban asteroids

Yeah I think NASA is working on that one

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u/Bigred2989- 14d ago

[Marco Inaros wants to know your location]

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u/ComradeAlaska 14d ago

Marco Inaros has entered the chat.

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u/A_Furious_Mind 14d ago

Thought it was a comet. Ban... dirty snowballs.

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u/ramriot 14d ago

Supposedly a big rock killed three-quarters of the plant and animal species on Earth which is way more than 50. It was 65 million years ago so fortunately it predates the 2nd amendment.

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u/Mortwight 14d ago

well we are talking about people not your pseudo fictional giant lizards. next your going to tell me the earth is spheroid!!

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u/pablo_pick_ass_ohhh 14d ago

Yeah, and everyone should have access to that rock. To use whenever they want.

I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong.

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u/whiskeyaccount 14d ago

Its not a boulder. Its a rock! ...The pioneers would ride these babies for miles.

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u/aquariussparklegirl 14d ago

came here for this comment... this one's on the HOUSE

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u/slobis 14d ago

Trolly problem upgrade unlocked!

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u/PM-Me-Girl-Biceps 14d ago

Too much energy. Let’s just get stoned instead.

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u/Mortwight 14d ago

that requires a lot of rocks!

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u/Suitable-Leather-919 14d ago

We're gonna need a bigger rock!

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u/mindbleach 14d ago

We must imagine Sisyphus yoked.

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u/stumpdawg 14d ago

Perhaps hurled 300m?

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u/masterwit 14d ago

yeah but a small blind earth bender took him out too

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u/LorenaBobbedIt 14d ago

Anecdotal evidence isn’t shaky enough, I guess, so he had to go with stories from ancient Hebrew mythology.

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u/number_six 14d ago

Even then his narrative is still mostly pro-gun control. He's saying we need to control who's hands have the "rocks"

Gun control isn't about explicitly banning guns themselves - its about.....controlling who can have them!

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u/pinklavalamp 14d ago

His narrative is very old fashioned and I was so disappointed by the misogyny. I’m a 41 year old female SoCal resident and he was my ultimate crush since SBTB first came out (I’m sorry, Zach Morris who??? Let’s fight!), and I’ve enjoyed seeing his career continue in entertainment but I don’t have Twitter and don’t follow celebrities on my social media, so I’ve never seen his posts until recently. He was blathering on essentially about how “in my mind, I’m the only one my wife has been with. I don’t want to know, and I know she wasn’t a virgin but I hate that she’s had a history before I came into her life,” and so on. It was sickening! Who cares what her or your history was, but you have to acknowledge that it’s shaped who we are NOW. Plus, she’s with you, dude! You won! Enjoy your life together, but don’t deny her existence before you just because it’s before you.

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u/grandmonkrailroad 14d ago

Why would Mario Lopez of all people care who his wife banged before him? I'm a regular dude and I don't give a damn. I'm the one with her now, that's all that matters. Slater's still on some high school mindset shit.

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u/hippyhappypotatoes 14d ago

You’re a regular guy. He’s a religious zealot much like Kirk Cameron and these dudes seem to have serious issues regarding sexuality. My ex-husband was the same way, he’d get drunk and rage out about me not being a virgin when we met, even though he wasn’t either. I was mentally and physically abused because he felt it was justified that I didn’t ‘save myself’ for him. The mental gymnastics required by these men is something else entirely.

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u/Imusaliar 14d ago

I wonder how much of it has to do with cultural and peer group support of their shitty views. You almost don’t need any mental gymnastics when everyone seems to be thinking/behaving the same way around you.

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u/pinklavalamp 14d ago

I’m sorry you went through that, and I hope it’s all behind you now, and that you’re in a better space. Much love.

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u/_BURN_THE_WITCH_ 14d ago

I'm the one with her now, that's all that matters.

You stole Slater's girlfriend?? No wonder he's such a douche!

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u/grandmonkrailroad 14d ago

I mean, Jesse Spanno was a baddie

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u/ovalpotency 14d ago

well TIL slater is a manchild (and a conservative but that's almost the same thing)

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u/jermleeds 14d ago

That's a distinction without a difference to the family of a shooting victim who died after we did nothing whatsoever to prevent it.

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u/Duryen123 14d ago

I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve didn't decide the only thing that could stop a bad kid with a rock was a good kid with a rock and encourage all their other kids to become proficient in killing each other with rocks.

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u/GuidotheGreater 14d ago

Hey now, Samson killed 1000 Philistines with a donkeys jaw bone and I don't hear anyone trying to take those away!

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u/Stupid_Triangles 14d ago

It's not too far-fetched of a story to believe some dude was able to crack a giant's head open with a slingshot. I've played a LOT of Civ 5, and those slingshots are no joke in 4000BC.

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u/LorenaBobbedIt 14d ago

K but it is too far-fetched to think that Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel existed.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/Sudden_Mind279 14d ago

fuck off bot

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u/SarcasticOptimist 14d ago

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u/Someguywhomakething 14d ago

I know someone's gonna do it, so I'll start it. I miss old Cracked.

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u/PreOpTransCentaur 14d ago

Back when Cracked approached something resembling good.

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u/SarcasticOptimist 14d ago

Try Behind the Bastards. Robert Evans and Seanbaby discussing Vince McMahon is amazing.

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u/InflamedLiver 14d ago

Sounds like a challenge. What if we lined up 50 people on the ground, lying down with their heads already on a concrete block?

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u/multiversalnobody 14d ago

My brother in Christ, you're literally describing the rape of Nanking.

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u/Stupid_Triangles 14d ago

Probably one of the few times the "My brother in Christ" intro works well.

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u/T_roy1911 14d ago

It’s one rock strike every 2.4 seconds, I think that’s a realistic pace

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u/Gravelsack 14d ago

Yeah you think that until you get about halfway down the line and your arms start getting tired

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u/theonlyjuan123 14d ago

Maybe you don't have to lift it every time? What if instead of on the ground it was a step system. Each step would be tall enough where dropping the rock would kill them. You would only have to push the rock over the edge.

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u/QuarkyIndividual 14d ago

Split the rock in half and connect it with a slinky, then it can make its own way down the steps

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u/Stupid_Triangles 14d ago

So a small village on a mountain side?

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u/infernalsatan 14d ago

Would you push the rock away so it would only kill one other person instead of the 50 on its original path?

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u/IamREBELoe 14d ago

Why not both

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u/Nexushopper 14d ago

Can I double it and give it to the next person?

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u/beerbellybegone 14d ago Table Slap

Last time a single rock killed that many, dinosaurs roamed the earth (but not for long)

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u/LokSmthM1A 14d ago

Someone never saw the battle at Minas Tirith.

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u/Would_daver 14d ago

chomps down onto tomato, spouting tomato guts all over. Faramir cries in the corner

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u/406highlander 14d ago

I hate seeing/hearing people eat messily/noisily. Misophonia, I believe it's called.

I have never wanted to bludgeon an actor as much as I did, right then, when Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Steward of Gondor, ate that fucking tomato.

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u/Cyberzombie23 14d ago

Don't worry -- the rest of us wanted to kill him for it, too. That actor is WAY too good at being obnoxious.

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u/enadiz_reccos 14d ago

His character in Fringe, Walter Bishop, is one of my favorite TV characters of all time. John Noble is a fucking legend.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/brown_felt_hat 14d ago

Oh, Asterisk! Could you hold these bovine intestines for me?

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u/TheSilentFreeway 14d ago

He also plays the worst dad ever in The Boys, maybe an even worse father than Denethor.

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u/Would_daver 14d ago

Ha that is indeed the condition, and I am confident we're all with you- Denethor needed to Dene-die immediately, and we all cheered loudly when hmmm "things happened" (just in case somebody on Earth hasn't seen the Return of the King yet....)

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u/booze_clues 14d ago

SMH you just spoiled that the king returns.

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u/Would_daver 14d ago

Dammit... I tried so hard

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u/LokSmthM1A 14d ago

All shall….fade.

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u/Sithpawn 14d ago

Claims he has no songs for dark halls or evil times. Ends up having the perfect song for dark halls or evil times.

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u/Would_daver 14d ago

That is a banger from Pip!! Fool of a lovable Took :)

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u/Brodogmillionaire1 14d ago

Faramir cries in the corner

Pippin

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u/Would_daver 14d ago

I was referring to the Steward of Gondor's.... somewhat lukewarm feelings towards Faramir. As in... "I wish you were dead and your brother lived" kinda thing. But I feel you :)

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u/maiadidit 14d ago

Poor dinosaurs. They didn’t know what hit them.

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u/shadowman2099 14d ago

With their pea sized brains, they didn't really know much of anything.

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u/maiadidit 14d ago

They were probably happier than we are 😵‍💫

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u/pikpikcarrotmon 14d ago

Even after the meteor, if we're counting me

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u/maiadidit 14d ago

Don’t be down, Charlie Brown…whatever’s bumming you out will get better. ❤️‍🩹

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u/SoxoZozo 14d ago

Probably a constant state of terror paranoid about raptors

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u/SarcasticOptimist 14d ago

Or it was loaded onto the trebuchet, the superior siege weapon.

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u/stygyan 14d ago

Actually, no. Last time The Rock killed that many, it was just another action movie,

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u/Hottitts257 14d ago

Only about 170 million years

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u/OneCat6271 14d ago

right.

i know its not the point but historically rocks have killed probably way more than 50 people in 2 minutes. siege weapons made rocks really deadly.

hell a big enough rock could probably kill every single person on earth within a matter of minutes if the planet was vaporized.

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u/Pyroguy096 14d ago edited 14d ago Silver

I've never understood the argument. Literally no one actually blames the physical object: gun. It's about regulating WHO HAS ACCESS TO GUNS. Which literally falls into the argument every single one of these people is getting at. "It's not the gun, it's the person." Ok so then we should continue restricting guns in such a way that makes it more difficult for a gun to be used by the WRONG person? "No, not like that! I want you to think guns are sentient so that my argument looks better!"

Edit: alright, geebus, I get it. I was exaggerating by saying "literally no one". You can all stop being unoriginal.in your replies now.

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u/Karnewarrior 14d ago

Because people who want to sell more guns to scared people want to create the impression that people want to take guns away from scared people so people are scared and buy more guns to stop their guns from being taken away.

It's a massive, multi-faceted grift that literally runs off dead children and media manipulation.

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u/Massive_Parsley_5000 14d ago

Yep. Wanna know what the best things to ever happen to the NRA and gun manufacturers is?

Democrats getting elected. They go out and rile the right up so much they turn around and buy every single damned thing that they can make as fast as they can make it, despite nothing actually ever happening one way or the other.

The price of .223 got so ridiculous during Obama's first term due to this democrats mostly viewed it as a net positive because it got so expensive people stopped using it and the guns that need it...like the AR-15. All Obama had to do was say the word "gun" at some point in time and every box of .223 sold out by lunchtime.

It's funnily enough part of why people started talking about taxing ammo seriously in the back half of his presidency because they saw first hand how the price of ammo moving actually effects gun ownership.

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u/basch152 14d ago

yeah, they connived republicans into thinking ANY restrictions whatsoever will make it so they can't get guns, but criminals will break the law anyways...which is just absolutely fucking ridiculous

but it works out so well, because the people in the NRA either own, or have mass stock in ammo producing companies. so if criminals can't get guns, it hurts their bottom line, and at the same time, scared people will buy more ammo

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u/Massive_Parsley_5000 14d ago

The only thing you ever need to know about the NRA and what they actually stand for is that story about the legal concealed carry black gun owner from Michigan (?) who got shot dead immediately by cops after revealing he had a concealed carry.

The NRA was completely radio silent on this story despite situations like that being literally their raison d'etre.

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u/passwordamnesiac 14d ago

There are too many to remember, but I think you mean Philando Castile in Minnesota.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Philando_Castile

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u/Homing_Gibbon 14d ago

I agree that we need better screening for who has access to guns. But saying "literally no one wants to take guns away" is totally false. Tons of people do, look at Beto's speech at the primary debate "Hell yes I wanna take your AR-15, AK-47, any gun that was designed to kill or maim a person until they bleed out on a battlefield". Bro, that's literally every gun. And I still see Beto bumper stickers here in TX.

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u/Pyroguy096 14d ago

That was exaggeration on my part, you're right

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u/cathartic_caper 14d ago

I appreciate you

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u/_jump_yossarian 14d ago

"It's not the gun, it's the person."

"Great, so you support universal background checks on all firearm transfers!"

"No!"

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u/Huxley37 14d ago

Literally no one actually blames the physical object: gun. It's about regulating WHO HAS ACCESS TO GUNS.

There are many politicians in the US that would disagree. That's why there are "assault weapons" bans proposed on the federal level and in many state. If no one is blaming the gun then why try to ban them?

Also, the "who has access to guns" is a minefield in itself. What decides, or more importantly who gets to decide who can and cannot have guns? Even the easy answers have caveats. Like people with metal disorders and violent extremists should not get access to guns, right? However an argument could be made that people with anxiety, or ADHD have mental disorders and should be restricted. There are people in this country that would consider any LGBTQ person as having a mental disorder. Should they also not be allowed to own guns? It's all up to the interpretation of the person or group writing and enforcing the laws. Same for violent extremists. What happens if an authoritarian figure takes power and labels all protests and dissenters as violent extremists? In both cases people would be unjustly disarmed because of who they are, not because of any real threat of violence.

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u/mindbleach 14d ago

"But the laws we're trying---"

Are all that's left.

We tried restricting who gets which guns, and the far right screeched until the courts said no.

We tried licensing anyone who buys guns, and the far right screeched until the courts said no.

We tried tracking where these guns are, and the far right screeched until the courts said no.

Rinse and repeat hundreds of times, and our only options are tertiary bullshit that the right scoffs about, like that's all we could come up with. Like our bestest idea is talking about the shape of guns... and any time we suggest something better, they screech about how that's just takinallyerguns, and scoff at that instead.

The nature of bad faith is that there is no right answer.

What happens if an authoritarian figure takes power and labels all protests and dissenters as violent extremists?

"But what if I called YOU a Nazi?!" is a confession. Like saying so is all there is. Fuck me, do you really need an answer, when your question starts "Well if an authoritarian figure made shit up,--?" It'd be bad. Q, meet A. Understated A. Nonetheless: A. If someone did a fucking awful thing with an obviously okay-sounding tool, it'd be awful, not okay. This is... kinda the whole deal, in this submission.

Bigots calling gay people a problem don't cancel out our ability to deal with actual problems. They're just assholes. You have to rebuke them, and then move the fuck on.

And no, disarming actual violent extremists wouldn't be because of "who they are," it's because of what they do. Shove these comparisons to what Hitler did, when we're talking about people who'd love to repeat exactly what Hitler did.

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u/medusa_crowley 14d ago

Fuckin THIS, my god this. I’m so goddamn tired of it.

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u/Coldstripe 14d ago

Literally no one actually blames the physical object: gun.

The post is blaming guns by implication.

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u/doodman_ 14d ago

Nah it’s saying some guns are more dangerous than others.

And the implication is that we should restrict those more dangerous weapons.

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u/TheThemeSongs 14d ago

David actually used a sling, which was a gangster weapon back then, capable of killing a dude with a rock.

And now people use weapons like that to kill Abels all over this country. Which is objectively a bad thing Mario.

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u/rainbowchain 14d ago edited 14d ago

Also the Bible never states how Cain killed Able, just that he rose up against his brother in a field and slew him. Some artistic depictions of the scene show Cain using a club, axe, or the jawbone of an ass.

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u/Lord_Abort 14d ago

or the jawbone of an ass.

I think that was Sampson you're referencing.

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u/DuntadaMan 14d ago

That is one of the references, but old artists liked reusing that imagery.

So we have renaissance imagery of a lot of righteous killings using jaw bones.

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u/mindbleach 14d ago

Like seeing John McClain in a wifebeater, or the Jedi wearing desert nomad attire. Incidental or exceptional parts of the story get mistaken for deliberate choice or common baseline.

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u/DuntadaMan 14d ago

"He slew Goliath!"

"Yeah dude, I shot him in the head. That tends to happen."

"It's a miracle!"

"No, that happens to anyone you shoot in the head. If anything the fact this guy didn't try to block shows less the power of God and more the power of hubris."

"It's a miracle of God and we should make you king!"

"Yeah that was totally a miracle guys!"

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u/mindbleach 14d ago

Hittite: So how'd you guys pick such a wise ruler?

Hittite: Was there like a riddle competition?

Israelite: Oh, as a child, he brutally killed a man in public.

Hittite:

Israelite: It was fucking metal.

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u/TheFatJesus 14d ago

The classic Machiavellian principle of, "If they want to believe your success came as a result of divinity, let them."

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u/Stupid_Triangles 14d ago

username does NOT check out 😣

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u/The_True_Libertarian 14d ago

If people at a rocky beach keep dying of rock related injuries, while people at the sandy beaches aren't dying from rocks.. maybe looking at the rocks isn't such a bad idea.

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u/Calazon2 14d ago

David also cut off Goliath's head with a sword (Goliath's own BFS if I remember correctly).

Plus, as someone else said, it doesn't say how Cain killed Abel. Some kind of farming tool seems more reasonable to me than a rock. Bare hands are not out of the question.

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u/TheRavenSayeth 14d ago

Malcolm Gladwell’s talk on the topic is fascinating

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u/ModsEmbezzleMoney 14d ago

Off topic but is Mario Lopez considered washed? Thought that was like people who couldn't find work and blew their cash.

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u/sulkee 14d ago

Can’t believe top comments aren’t about making fun of AC Slater. Guess I’m too old.

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u/ExternalQuiet6135 14d ago

You mean the character played by Mario "Date rapist who also fucked a stripper during his bachelor party and destroyed his marriage before it even started" Lopez? The roided dude whose dimples host Extra from time to time? Still better than Screech (RIP).

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u/donutpanick 14d ago

I didn't realize he died.

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u/Anthos_M 14d ago

He was diagnosed a couple of years ago with lung cancer in early january and he was already dead on the 1st of february.. scary shit..

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u/The_True_Libertarian 14d ago

Lopez has been a reality TV guy way longer than he did SBtB. These days AC Slater is a House music DJ to most people I know, even to those of us that grew up with SBtB.

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u/Horskr 14d ago

He's definitely not washed up, he recently did the Lifetime movie about Colonel Sanders, A Recipe for Seduction.

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u/Plasibeau 14d ago

That link is staying red.

Why is it red?

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u/Horskr 14d ago

It is just the Wikipedia entry for the movie haha. Lifetime made a strange drama with Mario Lopez playing a Jersey Shore looking Colonel Sanders.

Not sure why the link is red though?

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u/DepopulationXplosion 14d ago

What the fuck?

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u/Horskr 14d ago

Right? lmao a coworker told me about this when it came out and I thought it was like an SNL skit or something when I saw the picture. Nope.

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u/GamerTex 14d ago

Cant believe I had to scroll this far to find someone trying to answer OPs question

Personally I think some of these people may need the money. It's an expensive lifestyle. It's easy to grift

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u/MadeByTango 14d ago

They had the bad luck to come of age right before the Internet. They’re stuck in a world made by the boomers but owned by Millenials, and they don’t have the social tech savvy of having had things like AOL instant messenger while they were in school. It also means they still trust all of the “old world media” more than new information sources, and were moving into management roles as tech savvy kids started rolling into the workforce, stealing the work out from under them when it was supposed to be “their turn”, while the boomers held onto positions they normally gave up because all the retirement safety nets were reduced or destroyed.

They have post-development tech skills that makes it an unnatural fit for them to take over with and their parents didn’t give up control until was too late for them to get entrenched. Some of them got the memo and adapted, but so many of them got trapped. And that leads them to hanging on to hope of an America that is long gone.

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u/Stupid_Triangles 14d ago

Off topic but is Mario Lopez considered washed?

He hosted reality and talk shows. He was washed then. This is him trying to reclaim some popularity.

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u/DevonGr 14d ago

His "acting" days are over but if google is to be believed, he's making 7-8 figures a year for his work.

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u/ThatsARivetingTale 14d ago

Shit, I'd let the whole world call me washed if I was getting that much money

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u/Bingo-Bango-Bong-o 14d ago

Mario Lopez is absolutely everywhere, I’m kind of confused by some of these comments. I mean yeah, he’s not in anything dignified or interesting but the dude absolutely whores himself out to every hosting gig and spokesperson role he can get his hands on.

Anyone that stays in hotels rooms a lot is highly aware of this dude, since he hosts that hotel room channel with movie trailers and stuff.

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u/cathartic_caper 14d ago

Yeah this guy does not want for work.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/KatrinaIceheart 14d ago

He’s on access Hollywood or some kind of 2am Hollywood news/interview entertainment show. I see him all the time on the tv in the dining room at work (third shift) and at the laundromat. I imagine that brings in a lot of views even though there’s usually no eyeballs.

There’s only been one thing Mario Lopez has done that was of interest to me in the years it’s been on. He was interviewing Sabastian Maniscalco in Mario Land before the Mario movie. I learned Sabastian auditioned for Mario and was told his audition was “too Italian” by execs and was chosen for the character “foreman spike”. That’s pretty much it, and I wasn’t a fan of Mario Lopez’s interview style or questions.

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u/justanotherweeb23 14d ago

Washed is like Brett Favre on the Vikings.

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u/rich0338 14d ago

Also, those are fairy tales.

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u/Unhappy_Society_3371 14d ago

Having been raised in the church, when arguing against religious talking points it’s so hard to stop myself and say “Wait, this is just myth to begin with, why am I accepting these fairy tales as sure fact?” Whenever you’re arguing with Bible humpers that should be first and foremost in the conversation: these aren’t facts, almost nothing that happened in the Bible can be backed up by historical evidence.

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u/theskafather 14d ago

Marco Inaros would beg to differ.

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u/King_Wataba 14d ago

Du ferí da Belte!

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u/VampyreOfNazareth 14d ago

As a beltalowda, I don’t dig Marco, he chickenshitta.

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u/flyinlion31 14d ago

Trebuchet has entered the chat

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u/hyperboleistheworst 14d ago

We're gonna need a bigger rock.

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u/prickwhowaspromised 14d ago

Also, killing Goliath is only “good” based on what team you’re on. He may have been a great guy. Or not real bc god doesn’t exist. Again, it’s the team that you subscribe to that makes that distinction.

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u/marr 14d ago

Meanwhile Cain did nothing wrong, his reasoning was sound and he got fucked by tripping over an unwritten rule.

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u/Flippanties 14d ago

The Cain and Abel story is also a great example of what happens when someone is rejected by society. Dude did nothing wrong and yet God treated him like shit, Cain thus lost his mind and reacted violently against his brother, whom he viewed as the source of his rejection. A great allegory for the men that feel so rejected by society they pick up a gun and shoot those they believe caused it.

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u/Elonsfatdukakas 14d ago

Fun fact. A sling in those times was the equivalent of a gun today.

So yeah, that rock killing Goliath makes more sense. Dude had a gun.

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u/guymoron 14d ago

MF literally shot a huge target with a gun and got mad respect for it, but when I do it…

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u/DianneFineSwine 14d ago

That’s their favorite part. A CHILD had faith and saved a nation with a violent weapon.

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u/Oh_ToShredsYousay 14d ago

Rock slide has entered the chat:

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u/Poet_of_Legends 14d ago

I think the washed up celebrities figure that pandering to idiots worked for Trump, so maybe it will work for them…

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u/chubs66 14d ago

some 2a guy once argued with me on Reddit that if you take away one weapon (like an AR-15) the killer will just use another weapon and the death toll will remain unchanged. I brought up the Las Vegas shooting where hundreds of people were hit by bullets and the guy still maintained that just as many people would have died if the shooter only had a knife.

It's impossible to argue with someone who is really invested in one side of an argument. People first believe whatever they want to believe and then try to provide arguments to justify that position but they don't need any food arguments to maintain an opinion.

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u/DemiserofD 14d ago edited 14d ago

I doubt he meant that he'd use a knife. Instead, he'd probably use a bomb(easily done with fertilizer and diesel fuel) or a car(the most deadly mass killing in recent history was done with a truck, not a gun).

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u/ZenMonkey47 14d ago

The cynicist in me thinks it's a hail Mary to court the fascist right and become relevant again.

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u/weedsmoker18 14d ago

I mean you could if the rock was the right size, shape, and everyone laid down neatly in a line so the time wouldn't be too much of a constraint

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u/usurperavenger 14d ago

For those about the rock, we salute you!

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u/you_make_me_dumb 14d ago

If the rocks big enough you can

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u/PRESWEDENT 14d ago

You could with a very large rock

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u/polkadotard 14d ago

It really depends on the size of the rock.

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u/DingDongDanger1 14d ago

Trebuchet: Am I a joke to you?

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u/Deltayquaza 14d ago

Well, technically, you CAN kill 50 people with a rock in two minutes. Or actually even less time.

The rock just needs to be big enough.

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u/RunaroundX 14d ago

Like yes and how do you keep guns out of the bad person's hand? By regulation! Why is this so hard for some people?

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u/46297134657 14d ago

Don't worry, they pivot to "yeah but cars can kill 50 people in 2 minutes and we don't ban cars" after that. Then you mention cars have other uses and need extensive training/licenses to be used and they'll pivot again to something else. There's no point in discussing gun rights with ammophiles, they don't use logic or actual arguments. They're fine with children being killed ffs.

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u/DemiserofD 14d ago

Lets be honest, most cars are not designed for utilitarian purposes. The VAST majority of car deaths are caused by big useless pickups, sports cars, and motorcycles, none of which are for anything but having fun - exactly like what most guns are used for.

Except most people don't want to ban those, because they actually want to own one. Unlike guns, which most people in favor of regulation do not own. It's really easy to take away rights when it doesn't have any personal impact on you.

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u/dcrypter 14d ago

Lmao "extensive" training. What a fucking riot. Turn 18 take a written test that's basic common sense then drive around the block/ parking lot.

A CFL takes far more training and skill to pass than any driving license and you also don't get a FBI background check when you buy a car.

More convenient to ignore that though right?

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u/WorldAintRight 14d ago

It's Mario Lopez, he's an idiot. The same dude that was married to Ali Landry for like a week and fucked that up.

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u/LesbianLoki 14d ago

WTF? How about not use fan fiction as a basis of legislation... Fucking tools.