r/funny 18d ago

I mean, it kinda is...

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u/Roook36 18d ago

"Did you pee your pants"

"There was piss running down my legs. But I did not pee my pants"


u/h3lloth3r3k3nobi 18d ago

was somebody elses piss...


u/mcspecialkk 18d ago

These arent my pants


u/South_Bit1764 18d ago

‘scuse me sir, you seem to be peeing upon my leg.


u/mcspecialkk 18d ago

Your leg is now my leg


u/thefunkybassist 18d ago

Sharing is... peeing


u/OverUnderAussie 18d ago

Which one of you cowards shit my pants?


u/Mountain-Ad-6594 18d ago

LOL. Reminds me of when Beetlejuice claimed someone else shit his pants.


u/R2Vvcmdl 18d ago

Which one of you cowards just pissed in my pants..


u/MoreThanWYSIWYG 18d ago

Someone else pissed my pants


u/Mammoth_Violinist744 18d ago

It's the pleats...


u/platasnatch 18d ago

Don't act like you're not impressed


u/Vitaliy07 18d ago

That was piss of happiness though…


u/SamboNW 18d ago

Wearing shorts.


u/SgtTamama 18d ago

Why is he wearing sunglasses inside?


u/Sikah_dikah 18d ago

Cause he’s crying


u/racoondeg 18d ago

No, there's just tears in his eyes, he's not crying


u/shadowredcap 18d ago

That’s crying


u/TwigSmitty 18d ago

There is no evidence to suggest the tears are in his eyes. They just run down his face. He’s not crying.


u/Taint_Expert 18d ago

He covers why he’s wearing sunglasses later in the interview. The tldr is that he had various mens assholes on and around his eyes the day before and he got smacked with quadruple pink-eye


u/thefunkybassist 18d ago

There are glasses, and sometimes they block the sun, but they are not sunglasses


u/Rainingoblivion 18d ago

He is a huge Corey Hart fan.


u/thoolish 18d ago

I see what you did there, but let me one up you : the boy in a box


u/ContextAutomatic 18d ago

Well that’s how alpha males should look like indoors. Duhhh. /s


u/tman916x 18d ago

Because he’s a visually impaired or an asshole and he’s not the former.



Eye damage from his fighting days.


u/socokid 18d ago



u/ronytheronin 18d ago

Hey don’t laugh, that last fight against Greta Thunberg gave him serious injuries!


u/Undead_archer 18d ago

Is this a real interview?


u/TackyBrad 18d ago

He really spoke to him and was asked questions, which he answered, for television, but this is not an interview.


u/driftking428 18d ago

I mean. That's an interview.


u/Browncoatdan 18d ago

He also claims he's not bald.


u/ronytheronin 18d ago

"I’m not bald. There is skin running up my scalp, but I’m not bald."


u/ukyah 18d ago

I want your comment to be true.


u/IgorTheHusker 18d ago

According to him, he shaves his head because he is a genius who has figured out being bald is less maintenance and NOT because he is balding.

Pictures of him after his stint in a romanian prison proves otherwise.


u/imashape 18d ago

It’s way more maintenance being bald if your hair actually grows


u/IgorTheHusker 18d ago

Well yeah, tell him!


u/pallentx 18d ago

Not if you induce baldness by eating nuclear waste for breakfast and through excess testosterone.


u/Raeandray 18d ago

Imagine being this ridiculously insecure. It would be sad if he weren't so influential.


u/Rustbuket80 18d ago

It's sad because it is influential.


u/rlnrlnrln 18d ago

Did they let him out? Why the fuck did they do that?


u/NICEnEVILmike 18d ago

Lol. You can literally see his hair follicles on the side of his head, yet none on the top.


u/[deleted] 18d ago



u/SamboNW 18d ago

He’s definitely balding. Losing all hair on top like mr burns


u/RobsterCrawSoup 18d ago

He sounds like Dave Chappelle's impression of a white dude.


u/dexhaus 18d ago

There was a smile on my face, followed by a loud noise when I read your comment, but I did not laugh out loud.


u/Blah-squared 18d ago

Lol, underrated comment… 👍


u/deprecatedfreak 18d ago

This is more accurate than Tate's grasp on what crying is.


u/RavenBrannigan 18d ago

I’ll never unhear this. And I’m pretty sure from now on I’ll enjoy Andrew Tate content.


u/Hazee302 18d ago



u/spacemanspiff266 18d ago

he’s got the voice and mannerisms of a kid going through puberty.


u/SkollFenrirson 18d ago edited 18d ago

And the attitude and general intelligence cognitive development


u/socokid 18d ago edited 18d ago

Woah! No way.

I know 13 year olds that are far more intelligent and honorable than that garbage human being.


EDIT: LOL the submission is already locked. The mods of /r/funny have gone full coward. Wow.


u/SkollFenrirson 18d ago

You're right, I'll rephrase


u/happydictates 18d ago

Man has the cadence of an excessively competitive high school MtG player


u/CharisMatticOfficial 18d ago

As a MTG player I'd be angry if this wasn't so accurate


u/Calm-Tree-1369 18d ago

He's the kind of guy that dumb 11 year old boys think is cool and macho, but older dudes with life experience just scoff at.


u/spike73193 18d ago

Reminds me of DJ Khaled "not quitting" hot ones 2 wings in, which Sean instantly called him on that he was quitting


u/FeelTheCoze 18d ago edited 18d ago

Holy shit, that's what this twat sounds like??



u/Kakdelacommon 18d ago

lol thought the same


u/heyyou11 18d ago

Outwardly slightly less trashy Jersey Shore.

That voice, though... he could be an incel redditor.

Is he just a robot controlled from some mom's basement?


u/Stolehtreb 18d ago

My autistic cousin talks in this over annunciated way, and when he sees someone on TV talk that way, he yells “You can’t talk that way! That’s my way!” He’s hilarious.


u/heyyou11 18d ago

That's great! Yeah after thinking "incel", I thought autistic spectrum next (but I felt the latter did not deserve the comparison as much).


u/DrifterBG 18d ago

He's doing the usual projection that these types will do.

Talking about the matrix trying to trap and trick you all the time? It's because he is the matrix trying to trap and trick people.

Checkmake Matrixists.


u/Ash_Killem 18d ago

Yeah caught me off guard the first time I heard him as well lol.


u/cypher50 18d ago

He is "the Chosen" from SMOSH!


u/kwikane 18d ago

“There was poop in my pants…..but I didn’t poop my pants”


u/SmugCapybara 18d ago

I find Andrew Tate inspiring.

If this Dobby-the-house-elf-looking dingleberry could convince hundreds of thousands of people that he's the embodiment of masculinity, then you can do literally anything you set your mind to.


u/PuzzleheadedGuide184 18d ago

He’s a cunt isn’t he


u/deprecatedfreak 18d ago

Many people do not like that word, but there's often no word suitable enough. I fully agree.


u/Ohnonotuto4 18d ago

Wait, he really talks like that? I thought his voice was some joke.


u/Imwhatswrongwithyou 18d ago

You know a person is bad when they are so bad that they make you like the other bad person.


u/fridaystrong23 18d ago edited 18d ago

there were fluid streaming from my tear ducts, scientists haven’t discovered why, yet. I’ve been told this is a human phenomenon, probably resulting from living among them


u/WangToWindward 18d ago

Two of the most unpleasant people


u/Fourhand 18d ago

Takes a real slimeball to make Piers look charming and likable.


u/spidermanngp 18d ago

Omggg he is such a fucking tool. Jesus.


u/ashamaniq 18d ago

For being Mr Macho man he does sound like his testicles didn’t fully drop until he was 20


u/Taint_Expert 18d ago

Is that his real voice? He sounds like the bug villian in men in black?????? “More sugar”


u/sexy-man-doll 18d ago

He was sweating alpha sweat from his eyes or something


u/Vegetable-Ad8473 18d ago

God, anyone dumb enough to buy into the bullshit Andrew Tate is trying to sell is a complete tard.


u/name-classified 18d ago

would you believe there are hundreds of thousands who line his pockets with the snakeoil he shills and self-help motivational BS


u/Vegetable-Ad8473 18d ago

I can believe it. Most people are idiots.


u/Slartibartfast39 18d ago

What a numpty. Crying doesn't make you "a manly man" but lying about like that does make you cowardly.


u/WhoStoleMyJacket 18d ago

The Numpty dance is your chance to do the nump


u/MattJuice3 18d ago

It’s satire bro, everything about Tate is satire. I genuinely don’t see how anyone can watch this clip and not immediately realize it’s clear and obvious satire.


u/327thCloneTrooper 18d ago

Were you asleep?

My eyes were closed, and I was unconscious, but I wasn't asleep.


u/Redmudgirl 18d ago

This is one time in my life I will agree with Piers Morgan.


u/deprecatedfreak 18d ago

Likewise. The guys an absolute tool.


u/jeffk42 18d ago

I don’t remember this character in Napoleon Dynamite, but he definitely sounds like he fits in that universe.


u/Darknader- 18d ago

Did you cower, did you lie - yes but I am not a coward or a liar….


u/owlincoup 18d ago

Ok, old man here and I'm never really sure what to believe on reddit. Can someone please explain to me if this is a joke or not


u/deprecatedfreak 18d ago

The humor comes from the situational irony of Tate saying that whilst tears did fall down his face, he did not cry.


u/owlincoup 18d ago

Ok, so this is real and the guy being asked about crying is just in denial then. Its so dumb I legitimately thought this was a joke. I laughed when he said he had tears running down his face but wasn't crying thinking it was a joke.


u/JGratsch 18d ago

I would be more than okay if this person just sort of disappeared off the face of the earth.

Edit: In the most alpha way possible. Derp.


u/Numerous_Fortune_973 18d ago

And yet there are those who think he’s the embodiment of manliness.


u/BreckenridgeBandito 18d ago

Lmao is that really what bitch boys voice sounds like? I already hated him, now I think of him as more of a clown figure. Mickey Mouse ass voice 😂


u/Gomauy 18d ago

There was something heavy down my undies when I farted, but I dont shit myself


u/VisibleAd3180 18d ago

This guy is such a clown. His little followers are beyond sad


u/socokid 18d ago

Says the biggest coward and liar.

What a tiny, fragile little snowflake. LOL


u/Will0fDeeznuts 18d ago

That means he's both.


u/illeatyourheart 18d ago

What is this salty discharge?


u/RedDirtNurse 18d ago

Actors hate him! There were tears, but he didn't cry using this one weird trick!


u/Transposer 18d ago

He never said they were his tears.


u/dude_who_could 18d ago

I'm not crying, my eyes are just having orgasms.


u/Romanscott618 18d ago

Why does it sound like he’s doing an awful impression of a British accent? 😂


u/Due-Historian-8759 18d ago

You can't make this stuff up...


u/elheber 18d ago

Even Ken, of Barbie & Ken fame, a liberated man, admits crying is not a weakness.


u/lasers42 18d ago

Could this guy convince you to sell your body to other men for his benefit?


u/cagingthing 18d ago

😭 I’m not crying, I’m tearing


u/Gee9898 18d ago

I kinda like Piers I don’t agree with him all the time but when he calls people out for their bullshit, in front of them too, I just love it


u/mintyaftertaste 18d ago

What a gronk


u/boogersrus 18d ago

You still piss the bed like a child?


u/WeAreGhost1972 18d ago

Let it out Andy! 😭


u/Naitor5 18d ago

I guess he meant sobbing but lmao. I didn't drink water. It simply poured through my throat


u/sharpenyourteethx 18d ago

😂just wow


u/VomitingPotato 18d ago

Beta bitch.


u/anil_robo 18d ago

On the flip side I have seen people claim they cried but there were no tears. What about that?


u/Howiepenguin 18d ago

dehydration prolly.


u/Litenpes 18d ago



u/T_S_ 18d ago

Tears once tried to fall down Chuck Norris's face. But they were too intimidated to leave his eyes.


u/Optimisticatlover 18d ago

Tate used to talk about women and how he don’t like marriages etc

Now he said after living abroad and getting older , he would like to have a wife someday and grow old together

Yea no shit Sherlock … people mature differently and at the end it’s always better to listen to someone who have experience and wise instead of angry boy


u/ukyah 18d ago

Cancel THAT guy. Cancel culture are like cops. They’re never around when you need them.


u/Boborbot 18d ago

If he wasn't a sex trafficker he would've been hilarious


u/Federal_Ad9892 18d ago

He didn’t say they were HIS tears…


u/Kaito__1412 18d ago

He is like an American adoption of a great anime character


u/DLTfuture72 18d ago

Tate transcends conventional emotions as us mortals can understand, it’s highly likely he’s telling the truth here.


u/Definitely_Working 18d ago

i miss when tate was just known for this kinda humor and didnt become so wrapped up in the whole "matrix" bullshit. i always found this character to be funny until it became a pyramid scheme. remind me of his old "sparkling water" bit lol


u/BigTChamp 18d ago

Was there ever a time when he wasn't openly known for being a right wing misogynist bro though?


u/PNW_Misanthrope 18d ago

Shh shh shh, that’s just an alpha male.



u/Definitely_Working 18d ago

no he always was but it was funny when it wasnt being monetized so much. i knew he was playing an over the top dumb character and it was just goofy sarcasm with just a hint of truth. ive never really concerned myself with the whole "oh no, now some 12 year olds gonna take it seriously and go from a normal child to hating women!" aspect because he was just making goofy ass videos that would show up on my comedy podcast (YMH). im not worried about being swayed so i could just laugh at his monologues about how he wont drink normal water cause you can get that shit for free. it was just silly

now its just become this giant movement. i still find him goofy but now i have to hear about it constantly. people who follow him take him too seriously, people that dont follow him take him WAY too seriously. its become this giant money siphon that has all the negative qualities they pretend they are living outside of. corporate rot.


u/ctothel 18d ago

now its just become this giant movement

It sounds like you almost understand the dangers of this kind of “comedy” even if you haven’t made the connection yet.


u/socokid 18d ago

no he always was but it was funny

Fucking ewww

Enjoy your downvotes.


u/marriedtoranch 18d ago

Interesting and very relatable take. I am in a similar boat. I choose to pretend to not know him and avoid discussions about him. If you dismiss people on it I feel like it just will eventually go away. Feels nice to be understood.