This happened many years ago, when I was but a young man in college. But the story actually starts about 18 years before that, when I was a baby.
Like most kids, I hated getting soap in my eyes in the bath. Even the gentle “baby shampoo” would send me into a rage. My dad, being the intrepid problem solving sort with a penchant for over engineering, came up with a sort of 360 degree visor that my hair would stick through. Then, they could wash my hair and the soapy water would just roll off. It was great. It kind of looked like a flower on my head, so my parents would say I was “flowering while showering.”
Eventually, the OG visor got mildew and was disposed of, but my dad made a few over the years. He ultimately stopped when he decided that I should be able to wash my hair without getting soap in my eyes, but I wasn’t having it and started making my own. Over time, “flower hats” for this exact purpose became mass produced and I switched over to just buying them as needed. Never got soap in my eyes! It was great!
Well, by the time I was 20 and living in my own apartment in college, I still hadn’t kicked the ol’ flower hat. I was flowering while showering every day, living my best life. Cue a cute girl staying at my place and suggesting we take a shower together before fucking. She asked me to wash her hair and brush conditioner through it, which apparently felt really good to her and was a major turn on. When I was done, she offered to wash my hair. I didn’t think that would do anything for me, but I said “sure!”
I then reached out of the shower for the drawer where I kept my flower hat and put it on. At first she laughed and thought I was joking, even after I explained what it was. But then I think she noticed how it looked kind of old and used and faded, and that it would be strangely elaborate to keep a flower hat in my bathroom for the occasional joke.
To her credit, she washed my hair while I wore it. We didn’t end up having sex that night—I can’t remember her explanation—but after she left the next morning she didn’t return my calls or AIM messages.
I didn’t stop flowering while showering immediately after that. I would just say, “oh, I washed my hair already” if the situation came up again. But when I met my now-wife, I knew it was time to give it up. So I no longer flower while I shower, I just live with the occasional pain of getting soap in my eyes.
But you better believe that when we had kids, I immediately got them flower hats. My wife thinks they’re brilliant. She has no idea of my dark past. And every once in a while I look at my kids’ flower hats, and I hear them calling to me, beckoning me to don them. I haven’t succumbed yet, but I think it’s only a matter of time…
TL;DR: Flowered while I showered; got a good hair wash but nothing else.
TL;DR TIFU by essentially telling my girlfriend that my type was the exact opposite of her. Sad times ensue.
Obligatory “happened a couple months ago,” but realized I fucked up this morning.
Some time back, I brought up the topic of ‘types.’ I mentioned it because her best friend and I seem to damn near be the exact same individual, just of different genders, and I joked that she must have a type.
She took it a bit more seriously than I intended and proceeded to tell me she wasn’t sure she had a type, but she did like it when men were comfortable with expressing femininity, and that she thought tattoos were cool. Then she asked me my type, and I told her that generally it’s been curvy blondes with long hair, big chests and blue eyes. She lightly teased me for having basic tastes and we moved on.
The past couple of months, she’s been asking for constant reassurance. Asking if I’m sure I like her immediately after moments of intimacy, asking if I find her attractive, etc. She also stopped coming with me to the gym, which was strange because she loves weightlifting, and has lost a lot of her muscle tone.
This morning, a woman walked past our car at a red light. I sincerely didn’t notice her, but my girlfriend said, “Wow, look at her. She’s exactly your type.” I hadn’t thought about that conversation since it happened, but everything made sense, instantly. I told my girlfriend that she was my type, she said, “Not even close” and started crying. I have only seen her cry one other time in the four years I’ve known her.
My girlfriend is tall, flat-chested, muscular and has short brown hair and brown eyes. She’s beautifully androgynous and occasionally people mistake her for a very pretty teenage boy. (I love and am attracted to every bit of this about her more than any other ‘type’ that exists because she’s her.)
She said when she spoke about her type, she said she described a vague style pretty much anyone could embody (and I do dress and style myself a bit adventurously for a man), meanwhile I described an individual person she was in no way similar to, but always felt like she was expected to be. She said she couldn’t go to the gym anymore because she’d tell herself I was checking out other girls (I glance sometimes but not egregiously, and we used to do this together) and all she could think about was how unlike my ideal she was.
That one throwaway conversation has been eating away at and completely wrecked her self-esteem for months and I only just realized. Looking back, she definitely did try to bring it up once before early on, and I brushed it off with “you’re perfect for me baby don’t worry about stupid stuff” not understanding how bad she was feeling.
So yeah, I feel like I fucked up. Not sure what to do about it.
Hey everyone, I'll start off with saying that I am dating my significant other for over 4 years now. She is the love of my life, I definitely love her and I will do anything to make her happy. I am even saving up to take her to her dream trip and to propose to her there. I am an ex competitive athlete, so my entire life I've been eating right and working out, I did have an obese childhood but when I discovered sports I fell inlove with it.
Now, over the last few years she has gained a lot of weight, we are talking over 20kg when she initially was already a bit overweight. My type was always skinny and fit women but I really clicked with her and liked her that I was still attracted to her when she was a bit heavier than my type. Now however I just don't really feel the physical attraction. I never brought it up to her as I didn't want her to feel bad and I know it also bothers her as she can't dress how she wants and finding clothes is a struggle for her. She brought up that she wanted to lose weight but she couldn't afford the dietition she wanted so I pay for that for her (its a big chunk of my salary aswell) and I definitely know its a good dietitian that specializes in EDs and plenty of other things and I knew people who she really helped. I also do the majority of the cooking but she doesn't enjoy my "healthy foods" and only the cheat meals. I offered to take her workout with me and even pick up a new sport so that we will both be amateurs together but it didn't hold for more than 2 sessions. She is also perfectly healthy (as in no hormonal problems and such) and she is mentally healthy (which I am really happy about!)
Well due to my lack of sexual attraction we barely have sex, she is trying to initiate but I am just not into it. Today she asked me if I would be happy if she lost some weight and I said "I think you're pretty but you'll definitely be a super model when you get to your goal body". Then she asked me if the reason we have less sex is due to her fat gain and my stupid brain just said "I think its part of it"
And she doesn't want to talk to me as of right now.
TLDR I accidentally said that I am not attracted to my girlfriend of over 4 years due to her weight gain and now she doesn't talk to me.
In a shared hangar with several workshops, my friends and I rented a small space for our knife making enterprise. For a year, our shared kitchen and fridge functioned harmoniously, with everyone respecting one another's food. However, an anonymous individual began stealing my sandwiches, consuming half of each one, leaving bite marks, as if to taunt me.
Initially, I assumed it was a one-off incident, but when it occurred again, I was determined to act. I prepared sandwiches with an extremely spicy Carolina Reaper sauce ( a tea spoon in each), leaving a note warning about the consequences of stealing someone else's food, and went out for lunch. Upon my return, chaos reigned. The atmosphere was one of panic, and a woman's scream cut through the commotion, accompanied by a child's cry.
The culprit turned out to be our cleaner's 9-year-old son, who she had been bringing to work during his school's disinfection week. He had made a habit of pilfering from the fridge, bypassing the healthy lunches his mother had prepared, in favor of my sandwiches. The child was in distress, suffering from the intense spiciness of the sauce. In my defense, I explained that the sandwiches were mine and I'd spiked them with hot sauce.
The cleaner, initially relieved by my explanation, suddenly became furious, accusing me of trying to harm her child. This resulted in an escalated situation, with the cleaner reporting the incident to our landlord and threatening police intervention. The incident strained relations within the other workshops, siding with the cleaner due to her status as a mother. Consequently, our landlord has given us a month to relocate, adding to our financial struggles.
My friends, too, are upset with me. I maintain my innocence, arguing that I had no idea a child was the food thief, and I would never intentionally harm a child. Nevertheless, it seems I am held responsible, accused of creating a huge problem from a seemingly trivial situation.
The child is ok. No harm to the health was inflicted. It still was just an edible sauce, just very very spicy.
TLDR: Accidentally fed a little boy an an insanely spicy sandwich.
Hello, Reddit, this is u/spez, your usually confident CEO. But today, I'm here in a different capacity, as a fellow Redditor who's made a big oopsie. So here it goes... TIFU by deciding to eliminate third-party apps, and as a result, unintentionally creating a crisis for our beloved platform.
Like most TIFUs, it started with good intentions. I wanted to centralize user experience, enhance quality control, and create uniformity. I thought having everyone on the official app would simplify things and foster a better, more unified Reddit experience.
But oh, how I was wrong.
First, the backlash was instant and palpable. Users and moderators alike expressed concerns about the utility and convenience that these third-party apps offered. I heard stories of how some apps like RiF had become an integral part of their Reddit journey, especially for moderators who managed communities big and small.
Then came the real shocker. In protest, moderators began to set their subreddits to private. Some of the largest, most active corners of Reddit suddenly went dark. The impact was more significant than I'd ever anticipated.
Frustration mounted, and so did regret. This wasn't what I wanted. I never intended to disrupt the community spirit that defines Reddit or make the jobs of our volunteer moderators harder.
Yet, here we are.
I've made a monumental miscalculation in assessing how much these third-party apps meant to our community. I didn't realize the extent to which they were woven into the fabric of our daily Reddit operations, particularly for our moderators.
In short, I messed up. I didn't fully understand the consequences of my decision, and now Reddit and its communities are bearing the brunt of it.
So, here's my TIFU, Reddit. It's a big one, and I'm still grappling with the fallout. But if there's one thing I know about this platform, it's that we're a community. We're in this together, and we'll figure it out together.
I'm listening. Let's talk.
TL;DR - Tried to unify Reddit under the official app, phased out third-party apps, caused chaos, possibly destabilized the platform, and learned a lesson about the value of diverse user experiences.
Edit: a word
Note: this is a parody
I brought a Tinder date home last night, it was the first time we met, everything was pretty normal and we went back to my place and had a good time.
We both had to work and weren't really expecting to share the night, bottom line being that she wasn't prepared to stay over. She asked me if I had any weed she could smoke before she heads out, I (from the bathroom around the corner) say "yeah there's a pen in the drawer beside the bed".
There are two pens in that drawer... I rarely ever use the DMT pen so I momentarily forgot, both look like weed pens except one is a fucking 5MeO DMT pen and when the lightbulb went off I shouted "WAIT MAKE SURE IT'S THE BLACK PEN".
I'm shouting this while turning the corner, by the time I get in the room she had the pen blinking (maxed out) and let out a very loose "what the". For context I take half of that to break through. She started pushing herself up against the wall like a scared baby deer. I was like oh fuck me this is not good, but it's kind of quick so I'm thinking okay 10m and some big feelings, she'll be fine.
For the next couple minutes she lies limp on the bed like a rag doll with intense, wide open eyes. For the next couple minutes she (while naked ftr) starts screaming "I AM THE PORTAL". The following couple minutes she was coming down and seemed confused and then she broke into a huge crying fit. I'm thinking okay the trips over, now comfort, explain, damage control.
I tell her she's okay now, everything is okay, you used a DMT pen not my weed pen, she cut me off with "I AM GOD" (this spooked the fuck out of me ngl) and booked it downstairs, I didn't know what to do so I just started shouting "stop, please wait" while she ran outside (still naked).
I have lots of neighbours, nosy ones, and I'm chasing a naked woman asking her to stop. Not a good look. Eventually she gets winded and lays on the grass, stares up and chants nonsense. I'm on the phone with paramedics at this point and no surprise the cops are pulling up.
I was worried af, and told the exact truth. I live in Canada where these substances don't mean big legal trouble. The girl had a psychotic episode that was DMT induced (obviously), apparently she came to her senses hours later but is still suffering some mental "confusion". My neighbours probably think I'm a rapist now.
TL:DR I let a girl hit a DMT pen instead of a weed pen and she ran around outside naked.
So yesterday my friends (two couples, plus one single guy) and I went to brunch to go day drinking, and we ended up drinking a lot. It was all you can drink mimosas brought out w/ the big bottle of 'champagne' and orange juice/cranberry juice and they really stayed on top of bringing more out. As a group, we typically do drink a lot when we do go out on weekends, but not so early in the day. Or at least, if we do start early it's way more paced (not against the clock of when brunch ends). We did also eat brunch, but still it was a crazy amount of drinking in a short amount of time.
We ended up back at my friend's place (who was way more drunk than I usually see him, like on the verge of falling asleep) and he was laying down on the couch. I honestly can't remember what started everything off (I think it might have just been relatively normal where my friend and his gf started kissing, and the other couple was kissing -- although as couples they've both never been big on public displays at least in front of me). The other girl has always been fairly open, I've heard stories of her getting naked in front of the group etc before. Eventually the two girls kissed and then my friend/his gf were making out hot and heavy, and he was feeling her up. The other girl was kissing her boyfriend while the single guy was fingering her which lead to him eating her out.
Anyway, without going into too many more details, my FU was that I had drank too much to just leave to drive home (and my car was there, so I couldn't really uber home and just leave my car without it being a huge ordeal) and I didn't know what else to do but watch. At one point, the other girl even encouraged me to jump in but I declined saying my own girlfriend wasn't there to say it was ok or join in herself. We were supposed to go to the pool to continuing partying so part of me was hoping this would all end and we'd move on to the pool like nothing happened. But I was just kinda shocked at it all and was watching it all go down drunk in awe, at certain points going on my phone. The way my friend's house is, there was nowhere else to really go that guests would go (so I couldn't like go to a different room and watch TV).
I kinda feel weird about it now, like I was a creep in the room or something. Even though I waited as long as I thought I needed to and there was nothing else for me to do (like just walk around randomly outside, drunk?), to finally safely leave and drive home.
TLDR: My friends (2 couples + one single guy) got super drunk and essentially had an orgy. Since I have a gf who wasn't there I didn't join in, but I also didn't leave and kinda just watched for a while. Now I feel weird about it.
My (55M) daughter (21F) still lives at home, but has full autonomy here. But I like to know what's going on, so when she texted that she's bringing a few friends over after school, it wasn't to ask permission... just to let us know there might be a few more people over for dinner. No prob... who, I asked? She mentioned a few names I recognized and one I didn't. Let's call her Sally. Who's Sally? Just another friend from Uni. OK, sounds good, see you later.
My idle curiousity led me to Instagram, just wondering who Sally is. I looked up my daughter's IG list of who she follows, and found only one Sally whose profile indicated she attended the same Uni as my daughter. Obviously her.
That would've been it, except her profile caught my attention... because unlike most of her friends who have them set on private, this one was wide open to the public and it's one of these typical young-beautiful-woman profiles full of selfies in exotic clothes and poses. I scroll down a bit and of course there are beach pics from last summer and like any normal red-blooded male, it catches my attention.
No, I'm not into girls my daughter's age, I'm not some perv. But when those sorts of pictures show up on your phone, most guys would be lying if they told you it didn't catch their attention for a closer look.
Anyway, I pause the scroll there and I screw up because I double tap it, and that dreaded big red "LIKE" heart shows up, right on some very revealing bikini pic. My actual heart actually stops for a moment too, I'm sure of it. I instantly unlike it, but, of course, the damage is done. Somewhere, Sally's phone just got a notification that some user whose account shares the same last name as my daughter -- liked that pic.
So, Sally will mention this to my daughter and I will be a dead man, and that's it. It's been nice knowing you all.
I realize there may be a saving grace here, which is that Sally, with her 20k followers and thousands of likes per pic might have notifications turned off, in which case this is a non-issue. Or, she gets so many notifications, she won't notice because she ignores them and then clears them in bunches. Perhaps that's wishful thinking. Or, as per above, I'm dead. I don't really see many other alternatives.
For the moment, until I hear anything from someone, I feel like I'm anywhere from totally in the clear... to dead. Like I'm strapped into Schrödinger's Electric Chair, waiting to find out which way the lever will fall.
TLDR: Accidentally liked my daughter's friend's bikini pic on IG.
UPDATE: Man, this really blew up in just a short amount of time. I can't reply to every comment, but happy to address some of the common themes... and, below that, what ultimately happened.
One: First and foremost, perhaps it's the way I wrote it, or perhaps it's the way people just want to lash out at others for no real reason because their mind is already made up... but the point is this... there's a tremendous difference between finding something attractive, and being attracted to it. I will freely admit, and call me what you want, that many women in their 20s posing in bikinis are attractive. Am I attracted to them, to the extent I'd approach and message and "shoot my shot" with them? No. But 200,000 years of evolutionary instinct is hard to fight, so if I'm at the beach and a pretty young woman walks by, I'm probably going to look. Like most people, men and women, young or old, for their own reasons, are also going to look. It's not creepy. It's simply being human.
All of these "yOu'Re A pErV!!!!1!!!!" comments lead me to ask you gatekeepers of what's creepy or not the following question. If someone on a beach -- or with a public-facing IG profile obviously meant to get views -- isn't meant to be looked at, who is deciding it? Like in this case, 21F young woman, who's allowed to look at the profile? 25M? 30M? 35M? How about a 21M incel psycho? How about a 65F predatory lesbian? My feeling, clearly not shared by everyone, is that if you're putting yourself out on display, you're going to get looked at. I think that's actually the idea, and there's a far cry between being admired from a distance and having someone actually take it to any next step.
Two: Amused at many people asking for the IG account so they can see for themselves and perhaps flood my like out of the way... lol, no.
Three: I'm convinced she didn't see it because I unliked it right away and as many people are saying, if it's within 5 seconds, it never went out. I'm pretty sure my unlike was within 5 milliseconds.
And, here's the update... daughter and friends and Sally showed up. There was zero hint of anything. No weird looks, no lingering glances, no little giggles. Very nice and normal dinner conversation, and that was it. Then the girls got all dolled up in pink and glossy lipstick and went off to the movies. Probably off to see Oppenheimer.
So this happened a few days ago.
I have a longstanding habit of buying a lottery ticket for the powerball (or megaball ect.) whenever it gets over 300 million. It's overall a very small amount per year and it's just a small investment in fun times from my point of view. Recently the prize was slowly creeping up due to no winners multiple weeks in a row (the prize gets rolled over if there is no winner). It was over a billion last week and I bought a ticket like usual. But I got too busy too take it in too check the numbers.
Here is where I screwed up. I decided to give the ticket to my wife to check. Now she is a sweet lady who has never gambled anything, so she was not familiar with the process. I sent her to a local supermarket with a machine, explained how to scan the card and sent her on her merry way.
A little while later I get a strange text basically saying "you better be sitting down!!", and then a text saying something to the effect of "I'm never coming back to this store again..."
Later I got the full story. She scanned the ticket correctly and the machine announced that she was a winner. A full screen graphic and giant words, the works. She freaked out at the prospect of becoming billionaires (she does not know how much is shaved off for taxes, but that's a different story..), attracting attention in the store. After hyperventilating for a minute or two, she saw that the machine stated to proceed to a checkout counter, she walks over and......found out that she won $2.
She was not aware that if you get one number (or some) in the right place you can win your money back. Anyways after landing back on earth abruptly she left the store mortified at her reaction to winning $2 and now we need to find somewhere else to shop lol
TL;DR Wife did not know that you can win tiny amounts of money for getting one number correct in the lotto, mistakenly thought we became billionaires, based on her reaction in the store she now needs to find a new store to shop at :)
My husband and I (both 35) have been together for 7 years and married for 5. He has two older brothers that he isn't particularly close with. The one person he is very close to is his cousin Aaron. They lived together after my husband graduated college, he was the best man at our wedding, and Aaron even lived with us for a year while we were married so he could finish school.
I like Aaron a lot. He has felt like a brother in law to me, much more than my actual in-laws have ever felt. My husband and I have had a rough three years. Between COVID, there was a point where both of our fathers were in terrible health, we've dealt with infertility issues, and sadly in July we had a stillbirth at 34 weeks pregnant. And Aaron has been there for us through all of that. He is probably the person my husband can lean on the most for support.
Last night, I get a call from Aaron's longtime girlfriend Jennifer. She asked if it was okay if she could come over and have some girl talk with me. Jennifer and Aaron have been together about as long as my husband and I have. She has three kids from a previous relationship, and we love them. They spend the night at our house, and her older kids dog sit for us.
She comes over and proceeds to tell me some serious problem she has had with Aaron, and she is at a loss at what to do. The main crux of her issues are, Aaron is in an insane amount of debt and has basically used her as a place to crash for 7 years. He is constantly criticizing her for her parenting saying she "babies" her teenage children. And finally, he's lying about where is going, and his locations have him at a massage place that does happy endings.
I hate to say that the financial issues and the parenting issues, I already vaguely knew about. Even my husband and I have called Aaron out about how he talks about the teenagers. But, I had no idea how bad it was.
We talked through it and I flat out asked her "if he is going to a massage parlor and getting happy ending behind your back, would you still stay with him." And she said yes. So I gave her some advice about boundaries and talking to him and I left it at that. After she left, I went upstairs and told my husband what she said.
He proceeds to have a complete breakdown. He is in tears. I finally get him to talk and he starts saying things like "can I just have one person in my life that I can trust", "I can't go to my brothers to talk, and now I can't trust Aaron because I know he's been doing this shit", "he's fucking better than this". Just completely and utterly destroyed.
I feel terrible! I didn't even think about it when I told him what Jennifer said. I didn't even think that it could ruin their relationship. Aaron is the only person he goes to for advice and really looks up to as a big brother. And I just completely destroyed that image. I'm going with the classic "pretend it didn't happen" technique this morning. But I just feel like I completely took away the one family member who felt comfortable turning to for emotional support. The fuck do I do?
TLDR: TIFU by telling my husband all the fucked up shit his best friend/surrogate brother has done to his girlfriend and I've probably ruined their relationship at a time when my husband really needs support.
Update: Yowza! Thank you everyone for your kind words and your jokes! It certainly helped calm down my spiraling brain. I don't have much of an update on Jennifer and Aaron. Other then they are "broken up", but my husband and I have heard that a time or 20 and don't really buy it. I will go ahead and give some clarification on some common questions.
"Why do you think you fucked up?" Honestly, because of my husband's reaction. The minute I realized he was breaking down and crying, in my head I was thinking "Shit. Shit. Shit. Oh, I fucked up." I just felt so horrible that I made him upset. And I know it wasn't me, it was what Aaron did that upset him. But maybe it's the former catholic in me. I am programed to look inward for blame lol!
"Is Aaron your husband's only friend" No, we actually have a great group of friends who are very much our "chosen family" to us. Aaron is his cousin and the only family member he is really close too. We have a good relationship with his parents and siblings, but they've never been close. He's also the youngest of all the grand-kids. His cousins are all at least five years older than him. So there was never anyone in his family he was close with growing up. He and Aaron got closer in college and it felt like he finally had that person who understood their family that he could confide in.
"Why aren't you in therapy?" Oh don't you worry! We are in ALL the therapy. When our baby died we got into group therapy, couples therapy, and individual therapy. Our couples therapist has been trying to get us to focus on things to look forward to again. Simple things like going out to dinner, going on a trip, etc... We are unfortunately in a real negative head space these days. Which I think is the other reason he had such a big reaction.
Tiny Update: My husband and I both work from home. I tried my hardest to avoid the subject about Aaron and Jennifer. Then while I was in the shower, he came in the bathroom and said "by the way, yes, I am still pissed about Aaron." Fuck.
We went out to dinner last night. I did apologize to him. Not exactly "I'm sorry I told you", more like "I'm sorry that happened". He said "you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I am pissed off at Aaron."
Paranoid me said "You sure you aren't mad at me at ALL?"
My husband said "I am about 1% mad at you. Because you probably shouldn't have told me after I ate my gummies". We take Delta 8 gummies at night to sleep. I guess he had already taken a few by the time I came upstairs.
I did tell him that there were more shitty things Aaron has done that I didn't get a chance to tell him because he got so upset. I asked him if he wants to know that stuff. To which he said "not now, maybe another night". We enjoyed our steaks and chilled for the evening.
I don't know what is going to happen moving forward. He is very insistent that he is not going to reach out to Aaron. And Aaron still has no idea Jennifer talked to us or that my husband knows all the shit Aaron has done. Maybe he will wake up tomorrow in a different timeline! Where no bad things ever happen! We can all dream right?
So me and my gf were in class together on break and she tells me to watch one of her tiktoks. I put my phone down and watch some harry potter edit on her phone, then i take it and start scrolling down. For some context we had gotten into a huge fight around two days ago which ended in her hitting me, screaming at me, calling me names, then slamming the door. I didn’t talk to her for a day or so then we made up that morning. As i was scrolling thru her tiktoks i come across a video of just two people having a text convo, and the issue they’re having is something i directly struggle with in the relationship, lets say, communicating my feelings. I sat there scrolling thru the slideshow and eventually swiped to the next video. same thing. another text convo slideshow. another issue i was causing in the relationship. I ended up scrolling through 15 of those in a row and finally landed on a video that hit me like a truck. It was captioned “Me explaining to people that girls often break up/end the relationship with their partner way before they actually end the relationship.” Now this hit me hard because for the past 3 or 4 months or so we had been arguing constantly, i won’t really get into details. Most of those arguments she has said something like “so do you just wanna break up with me then” which has led me to believe this relationship has been over for the past 3-4 months she just hasn’t had the courage to break up with me yet. and she still says she loves me even though she’s already over it. We’re on better terms now and things are going great but i have this feeling in the back of my mind that this relationship, ever since 3-4 months ago, has just been fake, it’s been a lie, because she basically ended it and hasn’t told me yet, i just feel betrayed.
TL:DR looked thru my gfs tiktoks and they were about everything i had done wrong in the relationship and the outcome being ending the relationship. we had been fighting for a couple months and now i feel like she has ended the relationship but hasn’t had the confidence to actually tell me she’s ending it
The actual gift giving happened about a month ago. I used to work for UBER part time and would carry pepper spray on me to deal with the crazies when/if a time would ever arise that I needed to. After I quit, I felt I no longer needed it and gifted it to my girlfriend.
She got extremely excited by this gift. I'm not sure why she was so ecstatic but she felt this extreme empowerment by having it. Like she was invincible or something. As soon as she got it, she was outside testing it by spraying it on the ground (which I told her to test it) to make sure it works. It says so directly on it. I had never done so myself. She used it twice and danced with glee then we went back inside and that was that.
Over the course of the next month, she kept that thing on her like it was her only lifeline to the world. I was honestly kind of flattered that she loved my little $20 gift so much. It comes with a breakaway attachment to a keychain that she had fixed to her keys. We went out downtown and some guy approached her when I was in the bathroom and when I come out she's pointing it in his face like she's ready to end his retina's existence. It was extremely comical, until it wasn't.
Alright, so last weekend we are in the car and have some friends with us. My girlfriend in the passenger seat, my friend directly behind her, his girlfriend next to him in the center, and some guy that was introduced to us by my friend, lets call him "Steve" directly behind me. We were on our way to an event downtown and dude Steve has a pretty big personality. You know the type of guy that likes to put other people down to make himself feel better, or laugh at other peoples expenses, whatever. I know the type. Well, my girlfriend has a bit of an explosive personality, and while she wasn't the target of his 'banter' she sure as shit wouldn't put up with it. I was the target. And while I won't go into too much detail on what was said, it was enough to set her off and pull out that handy-dandy pepper spray I gifted her and set that shit right off in his face.
Well fuck. We are in a car on the freeway, windows rolled up, and pepper spray going off adjacently behind me. I appreciate her attempt to white-knight for me, but when I tell you everyone in the car was a victim (including herself) to the sheer magnitude of stinging pain to my eyes. They immediately closed and I swerved off the side into the divider. Luckily I only grazed the divider wall but we were all immediately out of the car, screaming, gasping, wiping our eyes. When I finally looked over at Steve, he was vomiting, beet red, and it literally looked like she dumped the can on his face. She's never getting a "weapon" again.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend pepper spray, she used it in the car inadvertently spraying herself and everyone in the car. Almost killing us all.
This happened a few hours ago and my husband keeps teasing me about it.
To clarify I’m a bisexual guy.
There’s a Barnes and Noble that I frequent semi regularly. There’s also a cute girl that works there, Megan, that I had a crush on years ago. We liked the same books and had a few polite conversations here and here. One day I worked up the courage to ask her out and she gave me her number.
But a few days later she let me down easily and I didn’t go back to that B&N for a while. After the awkwardness wore off I would go back and we’d be polite but there was a bit of tension there, at least I thought so anyway.
Fast forward a few years and I’m married to my wonderful husband, and Megan still works at the B&N.
I go with my husband to the B&N and Megan is there, she was busy so I don’t try to have a conversation with her.
My husband was looking around on the other side of the store and I was in the manga section. (Don’t judge)
I round a corner and almost bump into Megan. I apologize and we both laugh and have small talk and talk about one of the new books Sarah J Maas is coming out with in January.
At some point she notices my ring and says congratulations and I say thank you. And this is how that conversation goes.
Megan: ‘I hope she makes you happy, I hear marriage is tough.’
Me: ‘He does make me happy, we’ve only been married a few weeks, dating for a year and things have been smooth.’
She looks at me consfused. ‘He?’
And here’s my FU. I decided to be funny and say, ‘Yea when you rejected me I thought I’d have more luck on the guy side, and I was right so thank you for turning me.’
I laughed hoping she’d get the sarcasm in my voice but she didn’t. She turned red in the face and tears welled up in her eyes, then she apologized and pretty much ran away into a side room before I could tell her I was joking.
I wanted to wait for her to come out so I could apologize for the joke, but after 15 mins I didn’t think she was coming out.
I found my husband and made a hasty retreat to the car and told him what happened. He laughed and called me a monster jokingly.
I may need to find a new bookstore.
TL;DR- Married a guy and told a girl who rejected me she turned me gay, causing her to run away and cry in a side room.
Edit:- This blew up over night. Apparently it’s already on TikTok! Hasn’t even been a full day. I wasn’t expecting this honestly.
To clarify some things: I AM A GUY. I’m also 24. Too many people have said ‘wait i thought OP was a girl.’
I’ve seen a lot of emotional damage and DND references to psychic damage, while hilarious, it wasn’t my intent to hurt her, just to make light of a old situation that I thought she didn’t even think about anymore.
Also Megan and I never dated. We talked for a few days, I asked her out to the county fair and that’s when she rejected me. She said I was the first person to ask for her number and she was shocked and nervous and decided to give dating a try, but she wasn’t comfortable with dating, I said I understand and I let it go. I’m not sure if she’s dated anyone or if she’s Asexual.
We’re not strangers, we talk whenever I go in and she’s not busy, she knows my name. We’re not friends but we’re friendly. The joke may have been inappropriate but i honestly didn’t think of it that way. I’m honestly not upset about her rejecting me, it happened 5 years ago.
Also also, yes, I’m 24 my husband is 23, we dated for a year, and got married. We don’t argue, we communicate honestly and openly, doubly so because we’re polyamorous and communication is key in these type of situations. Keep your comments to yourself on my marriage.
And no, we’re not asking her for a threesome…you know who you are
Obligatory not in the USA, but Latin America
I (30f) have been married to my husband (31m) for 5 years, but we have been together for more than that as we are high-school sweethearts. My husband's last names (yes, nameS, as in my country we have 2) are really generic not original or cool, just super plain, imagine Smith or Jhonson (sorry to all the Smiths and Jhonsons) while mine are really uncommon, one is the name of a really beautiful elegant animal while the other is foreign and the name of a little town in another part of the world.
I do not use my husband's name, I have never introduced myself as Mrs. Smith , I don't like being called Mrs. Smith and even when talking about our family, I don't use only his name, like if we are giving a present, I will sign with both of our last names (we are NOT Mr. And Mrs. Smith, even in the wedding, I refused that title).
Nobody knew, only my husband, why I didn't changed my name, everybody just assumed that it was just goog old feminism, and left it at that.
Last week, one of my husband's cousins had his engagement party, he is my husband cousin by blood and she is the one that is marrying into the family, beautiful people, love them very much. Everyone of my in-laws was there, the grandparents, cousins, my husband's siblings, his parents, aunts, uncles, everybody. ALL NAMED SMITH. And obviously the question about if the girlfriend is going to take the family last name came up. I have to say that every last girl that has married into the family has taken their last name, except me.
Well, everybody was trying to convince the girlfriend to use the last name and someone, I can't remember who, said "Well OP didn't changed her name", silence, and my father in law stoped, looked at me and said "yeaaaaah, you didn't....... why?"
Do you know that sensation when your mouth moves faster that your brain, I was just enjoying my food, concentrated in my mashed potatoes cause they were super fluffy and I was making figures, super discreetly, with them. So I just said, no, more like shouted, REALLY nonchalantly "cause yours are boring and mine are prettier"
You.. could.. hear.. a.. pin.. drop
After like 5 minutes of purely shock and horror one the youngest cousins just burst out laughing and admitted that their last name is in fact, pretty boring
But I'm sure they all will remember this incident.
TL;DR: I shouted in an engagement party of my husband's family that I didn't took his last name cause his is really boring, all because I was really busy playing with my food.
Edit: to my Latin American people. I know that in our land we don't change our last name legally but I really didn't know any other way to say it, cause we like change it socially. Like when we marry we become "de". My husband name is Pérez so I am La Señora Pérez, o Doña Pérez y soy Xxxxxx de Pérez y somos la familia Pérez.
And that name is so aggressively common that I am confortable saying it on reddit and I know I am not going to get recognized.
Is just that explaining all the "de" thing is way too complicated for a reddit post.
Relájense mis panas todo es de amiguitos. Y si tu nombre es Pérez, se feliz, tú tienes a Checo Pérez y los demás tenemos apellidos originales 😅. Los quiero.
Edit 2: I'm glad that the fact that sometimes my brain just turns off and I go on autopilot has made a lot of you laugh. Please keep trying to guess my last names. They have been really chef's kiss. My favorite has been Mrs. Albatross Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. It was so close
In 2016, my 18 year old self purchased a common used car from an old man who lived in Ohio. Everything checked out, he had a clean title in hand, maintenance records, and the test drive revealed no issues.
Shortly after purchasing the car, my father remarked that I was really putting on the miles fast and as a result, there were pretty frequent oil changes. I brushed his comments aside as I did drive the car daily and take it on some weekend adventures.
Fast forward to this year, with my car now at 179k it had to go into a service shop for repair after some warning lights came on. The shop provided me with a diagnostic sheet from a tool they plugged into my car, which showed my car only had 111k miles. I pointed out the mistake but the mechanic was confident the sheet was correct.
We took a look at the odometer and he remarked how it was unusual that there was no indication of the unit it was in, but he noted the speedometer was labeled in miles. After some debate we pulled up a km to miles calculator, finding that 179k km equals (you guessed it) 111k miles. We then tested the theory by driving and recording the distance to check versus the odometer, and sure enough it confirmed our suspicions that my “mileage” was actually “kilometage”.
The mechanic went to toggle the setting that should have put it back to miles, but discovered feature to be broken, leaving my car‘s odometer stuck in km.
He said I could pay to have someone try to fix it, but then pointed out that all of this car’s records (title, maintenance, insurance, etc) including the ones from the previous owner were also in kilometers marked incorrectly as miles.
Trying to reverse it back to miles would be a lengthy and expensive process and I might get flagged for trying to commit odometer fraud by “rolling it back”.
So now I’m stuck with my car with an odometer and all of its records in km marked incorrectly as miles. I’ll likely be unable to sell it with the false paperwork and have spent hundreds of unnecessary dollars in extra oil changes and other routine maintenance based on the “mileage”. The upside is I purchased it for a good deal since the previous owner was also under the impression that it was in miles.
TLDR: My car’s odometer has been in km for at least 7 years and no one noticed.
ETA: only the ODOMETER (which counts distance traveled) is in km. The SPEEDOMETER (measures the speed) is in MPH, though it also shows much smaller/less prominent KPH measure under MPH that I never pay attention to.
This means I have always been driving at the correct speed, in MPH.
The car is a Mazda CX-7 suv, a Japan built US market vehicle with absolutely no modifications done by myself or the prior elderly owner who was the first owner.
Using a throwaway because he probably knows my main and I don't want him to know I know yet. This also technically started a few days ago but it's been stuck in my head since and I need to get my thoughts out.
When we met and the entire 3 years we dated before we married, I was always firm about not wanting kids. My husband told me that his stance on kids was along the lines of "kind of undecided, but overall not a good idea". Always said he used to want kids but changed his mind later in life.
I wholeheartedly believed him until I decided to snoop. We're both pretty avid reddit users and he wanted to brag to me about how many upvotes one of his comments had. I watched him as he clicked on his profile to find it, and I caught his username and a glimpse of another comment where it looked like he was talking about me. We've never tried hiding each other's accounts from one another so it's not like his was secret, but I still feel a little bad for letting curiosity get the best of me. I looked up his username later in the day to check out what he had to say about me.
To his credit, he was gushing about me and it was really sweet. But, quite a few of his other comments also talked about how he wishes he could have children of his own and that the only thing stopping him is me. Talks about how his desire to be with me outmatches his desire to have kids, but he's still heartbroken that he can't have both.
I still don't know what to make of it. On the one hand, I'm hurt that in the almost 10 years we've been together he's never talked to me about this and Instead lied to make it seem like we were on the same page. I feel immense guilt that I've taken such a choice away from him, especially after reading about just how badly he wants it.
On the other hand, and I can't believe I'm about to type this out, it's making me rethink my stance. For the first time in my 32 years of existence, I'm uncertain about whether I want kids or not. I've always thought "pregnancy/birth sounds like a nightmare and I simply don't have the mental bandwidth to devote all of my time to raising a child" but suddenly I'm having daydreams about it all. Hell, just last night I fell asleep while fantasizing about what would happen if my birth control failed and we decided to just roll with it instead of getting an abortion. Every argument I try to come up with against it is easily refuted by how our life is currently going. We own our house, we both have good jobs that pay well, and I work from home on my own schedule so we wouldn't have to worry about daycare or extended maternity leave.
The fact that I'm even reconsidering is absolutely terrifying. What if I think on it for another year, decide to go for it, and then regret it? What if I'm only thinking about it now because I want to make him happy? What if I decide to ignore these thoughts and later regret not trying before we got too old? What if he thinks he wants me now but later resents me for not letting him live the life he's always wanted?
Anyway, this got much longer than I thought it would be. I'm using this sub instead of something like r/confessions because I do consider this a fuck up. I regret looking into his reddit account, I wish I could go back to a few days ago where this wasn't on my mind and I thought things were going great between us. I'm sorry if this isn't as interesting as "tifu by sleeping with someone's mom" or whatever usually gets popular, I just needed to get all this off my chest.
TL;DR: Stalked my husband's reddit account, found out he's secretly always wanted kids even though I don't. Now it's fucking with my head and I don't know what this means for the future of our marriage or what I even want for my life anymore.
EDIT: I was not expecting this post to blow up as much as it has. I'm sorry I haven't responded to many people but I promise I've read almost every comment. I was gonna sit on it for a few more days before saying anything to him but everyone calling me out for essentially being a pussy is making me realize I should just talk to him tonight before I let my weird anxiety blow it more out of proportion than it already has. I still haven't decided whether to bring up how my views have changed regarding children as I don't want to get his hopes up if I change my mind back, I'll see how the conversation goes. To address a few things I've seen mentioned by you guys:
Don't worry, I'm not throwing out my birth control tonight and jumping straight to baby making. I'm honestly still leaning more into the not having any kids side, and if my mind changes more it's still not happening until we both want one without a shadow of a doubt
"Just talk to him! Communicate!" I appreciate the concern, but keeping it to myself forever was never an option for me. Our communication is(usually) fantastic and I'm planning on sitting down with him, I was just panicking a bit while writing this and wasn't sure the when/how/what all I'd like to share with him.
"Why do you think doing the same thing he did will solve your problems" ...you know what, you got me there. I'll probably show him this post eventually anyway so I'm not sure how much water these comments hold, but you may be right that I shouldn't have shared this with strangers on the Internet. I will say though, I kinda get why people do it now. To quote one of my own comments: "it's like having a sea of little angels and devils on your shoulders" which tbh is a little cool and almost cathartic
I'll update tomorrow morning if anyone is interested(is it better to edit this post or make a new one? I'm unfamiliar with tifu), but otherwise thank you all for your help! For the hate reddit gets for being toxic and negative, all of you had either very insightful advice or were funny to hear from
EDIT 2: I have an update, made a separate post here
My mum is in her 70s, and understandably has been through a lot of shit in her life time. She has been the "first female X" in her workplace several times, and has admitted her obsession with my appearance is because she's experienced a lot of comments regarding her looks and what was 'appropriate' for a woman throughout her life.
We both wanted to see the movie, and both had an idea about the subject matter, but she wouldn't have gone if I hadn't suggested it. We saw it this morning, and let me tell you I was NOT expecting to cry that much (also, shoutout to the guy sitting next to me who was crying into his girlfriend's shoulder)
Ever since we got out, my mum has not stopped crying. She's also admitted a few things since that she's never told me before - apparently there have been two occasions where she was forced to leave her job because her husband started working there (I didn't know that was thing, what the hell? And this was in the 80s!), she was sexually assaulted by a (thankfully now retired) politician she worked with and couldn't say anything, she was forced out of a job because her boss's wife was jealous of her (she literally calls this guy her second father, but somehow she was a threat 🤷♀️), and my father apparently repeatedly telling her she should be "grateful" for the things he's "done" for her - like buying a family house when he forced us to move to the other side of the world without consulting her (a house which was sold for less than market value in the divorce) and "supporting" her when she didn't have a job as a result of said move to the other side of the world where she didn't have permission to work
She's already been a bit, shall we say somber, recently due to her fear of aging, but she seems to have spent the last few hours doing nothing but going over her "mistakes" and regrets, and I don't know how to help her.
TL;DR: Took my mum to see the Barbie movie, and now she's reliving some of the shittiest parts of her life and I'm actually really worried about her mental state
EDIT: Obligatory "wow, this blew up"... seriously, I was expecting like 5 replies. Thank you everyone who responded! My brain likes to make me blame myself for every tiny "bad" thing that happens (and mum crying = bad emotions), hence why I believed I fucked up. My mum is ok; she has been exceptionally sappy over the last couple days but otherwise she does seem lighter, so you guys were right. We haven't talked specifically about the things she mentioned then, but I've let her know she can talk to me about anything, and she's since told me some other (less depressing) things about her life that she's never told me before. I did tell her that the lovely people of the internet think she's amazing, which made her cry (good tears!)
I may try to broach the subject of therapy with her again as she's previously been quite resistant. She's been so busy just surviving and giving everything to her kids that she's never had time to process anything. She has recently come to accept that the divorce was NOT her fault, which is MASSIVE progress for her!
And thank you to everyone who shared their experiences as well. I hate that so many people can see themselves in my mum's experiences. I hate that this is a conversation we're still having. But in some ways, I'm kinda glad this seemingly 'lighthearted' movie is provoking those conversations.
M TIFUpdate - Embarrassing story of my accidental $15,041 donation to Bangladesh goes to Reddit's front page, Redditors raise over $55,000 in new donations! (with picture updates)
PHOTO Updates: https://imgur.com/a/8Rv1LoZ (I assume the first of many photos to come in the following months)
Last week, I posted one of my life's most embarrassing stories on TIFU, about the typo that caused me to donate $15,041 to a Bangladesh charity instead of the $150 donation I intended. At the time of my Reddit post, the charity’s latest campaign had approximately $12,500 from 26 total donations. My neighbor, the organizer of the charity, had told me the charity was running on fumes and looking to cancel some of its programs.
Of course I had hoped some Redditors might read my story and decide to help the charity, but I NEVER could have expected the overwhelming reaction nor the incredible generosity of the Reddit community. “Watch this post blow up, and a shit ton of Redditors donate” was one of the first comments the post received on Reddit. And that is exactly what happened. Over Memorial Day Weekend, the charity raised over $55,000 from over 2,100 new donations.
On Saturday, I had to explain Reddit to my 77-year-old neighbor and to the charity’s team leader in Bangladesh (he called it Rebbit, as you can see in my pics). They were absolutely blown away by the reaction – truly they view it as a miracle. I received the following message from my neighbor: “Without a doubt, this is the biggest wave of support to arrive since we started! Doors that were closed can now be opened. Plans that were parked can now be put in motion. There is much we can now accomplish. All due to your idea to post (in a funny way) on what happened a while ago. Abundant resources require an equal level of responsibility. No less. I am committed to see that these funds are applied carefully and continue to make a difference to those who need it most.”
Sometimes things just seem to work out for a reason. One Reddit donor commented, “Michael may have screwed up his donation, but hopefully his TIFU on Reddit has fixed that somewhat.” Thanks to Reddit, the Bangladesh community will receive roughly 4x the amount of the original donation I had refunded.
TL;DR: My embarrassing story of an accidental $15,041 donation (and refund of $13,541) goes viral on Reddit, Redditors raise over $55,000 for needy in Bangladesh!
EDIT: Holy cow someone just donated $5,000! Thank you, Anonymous!! Hopefully you didn’t mean to donate $500… it could happen to anyone. Charity link in comments and original post, if anyone else is interested!
While this event happened 10 years ago, I literally just realised an hour ago what I actually did.
In 2014 I was just completing my Masters Degree in design. Now, the way the degree was set up it was one course of 40 people, but we were all doing different areas. Dance, architecture, sculpture, textiles, everything and anything. We’d have lectures together, and present the progress on our projects every couple of months.
So end of year comes around and we start setting up our final gallery show. The space we were using was the first-year art students workshop, which we cleared out and prepped and pained fresh.
When I arrived to do my part, one wall as a mess. Like 100 holes all over it, like a hammer and knife attack. I was pissed that a first year did this to a structural wall, and grabbed the sandpaper, filler and paint to fix it. The show went ahead fine with a warning ‘wet paint’ sign on that section.
I think you can tell where this is going.
You know how your brain suddenly reminds you of things out of nowhere? Like ‘shit, my laundry!’ Or ‘Argh I forgot to pay that bill!’ Well, I’m sat in bed today and suddenly realise… ‘Fuck… that was Anna’s master degree piece!’
You see, Anna was a part time mature student on different hours to the rest of us. We saw one presentation of her work which was about making repeated holes/cuts into paper/card. I never thought about it much again. She must have come in before the rest of us, created the wall piece for the show, and left. And I’d gone a filled it and painted it away.
To be fair, she never left any note or name on the piece. I don’t even know if she knew what happened to it, since it’s not like she would need to come back to collect it after the show since it was, you know, a wall. If she did, I hope she saw humour in it and added it to the piece’s story - ‘humans crave to repair damage’ etc.
Either way, I’m now silently cringing and may need to repent to the art gods lest karma strike me.
TL:DR I filled and painted over someone’s Master Degree installation piece because I thought is was a damaged wall.
A quick edit just to answer a couple most common questions.
We’d all already presented our work for grading before the show, so I didn’t affect her grades at all.
By ‘structural’ wall I really mean a permanent outer wall of the room, rather than a temporary one built for hanging work in the show that is removed later.
‘Why did you repair a random wall??’ When you put on an art show, often you start with a grotty space that needs clearing up first. We had 3 days to clear out the junk, scrub floors, repair damage, build temporary gallery walls, paint everything white, hang work and lighting and clear up any construction mess. We all turned up whenever we had time to pitch in before the show.
My coworker Z is disabled from the waist down, we've been working in the same office for three years. She is the most obnoxious loud mouth to ever breathe on this planet, because of which I never hang around her but she has these two friends who keep poking fun at people and think they are the funniest people around.
Covid was pretty bad for my family and my coping mechanism has been binge eating which led me to gain weight. Some coworkers told me that she has been calling me Snorlax behind my back but I didn't care coz she didn't say it to my face. A few days ago, we had a team building exercise and had to give each other "endearing names" and she named me Snorlax and everybody started to laugh I said that I didn't find that funny and decided to not participate any further. The HR called me in and told me that it wasn't meant in a mean spirit and that I shouldn't take it to heart coz being silly is Z's nature but she said that she was going to talk to Z and ask her to not call me that again.
Our team has a Whatsapp group and the next evening Z shared a video of a fat man dancing without a shirt and wrote cough-cough a happy pokemon.
This was extremely petty so I confronted her about it next day and she tells me that she was only joking and I shouldn't take it to heart. I said that I was going to complaint to the HR and she asked me to go ahead and when I moved a few steps away I heard people laughing, when I turned I saw that she was imitating the guy from the video.
I yelled at her that it would have been actually funny if she could rise up on her two feet and then dance. And I said again that she should get up from her chair to make everybody laugh. She started to cry, like she absolutely lost it. I thought that she was only faking it for sympathy but they had to take her to see a doctor coz she wouldn't stop crying.
Now I'm suspended for two weeks and I don't know how that will reflect on my performance review in the future. I was working my ass off for a promotion.
I think Z has some serious issues and I rubbed her wrong.
TL;DR: COVID stress caused weight gain and binge eating. Coworker nicknamed me "Snorlax" behind my back and publicly during a team exercise. Confronted her, she continued mocking. I made a harsh comment, she cried, and I got a two-week suspension.
Hi Reddit. A few years ago, I injured my shoulder doing some dumb activity that I don’t remember. I thought at the time I tore my rotator cuff cause my shoulder was really hurting, and I couldn’t move it fully. Any time I raised my arm, it wouldn’t let me go past a certain point without a lot of pain.
I didn’t use it very much for about a month to try and “heal” it myself due to not being able to afford going to the doctor, and that seemed to help it! The pain went away when I wasn’t using it, and I thought that my injury was finally healing. Yay!
I started working out, and my shoulder pain came back with a vengeance. But I was stubborn - I wasn’t going to let my injury hold me back. I pushed through the pain because I figured if my shoulder got stronger, the muscles being built up would compensate for the “tear,” and eventually I wouldn’t even notice it was there, right?
So that’s what I did. And it actually worked a lot better than I expected it to! Over time, through working out, I noticed the pain less and less, and it stopped being something I thought about every time it started hurting. I still had a limited range of motion, but I stopped noticing that as well.
I got so used to it that I figured it had healed. I didn’t notice the pain when I worked out, even though it was still there. When I got into heavier weights, my shoulder would almost move, and it would pop a lot. I just associated that with it being normal due to the previous injury.
And then my girlfriend wanted to learn some cool dancing dips. We would practice me flinging her around, dipping her, you know, general dance moves.
WELL… we weren’t fully sober, and were just messing around with trying things we hadn’t before, being overly confident with new tricks in our inebriated state and shit.
I tried something new, and didn’t realize I was close to an obstacle. If I had continued, I would have booped her head into it, so to save her the pain, I instinctively moved her out of harm’s way, at the expense of my balance.
I fell hard on my shoulder (both my hands were on her), and I felt my shoulder dislocate, and then an immediate POP back into place. It hurt way less than I imagined a dislocation to feel, but I wasn’t even thinking about the pain… my shoulder had suddenly gotten its full range of motion back! Not only could I move it up and back (a motion previously impossible), but I could do it without any pain, or popping!
I’m such a dumbass y’all.
TL;DR - I (partially?) popped my shoulder out of place, thought for years it was a torn rotator cuff. Fully dislocated my shoulder, popped it back into the socket, and now my shoulder is fine.
TIFU up taking my wedding ring off at the gym.
Longtime lurker, first time poster and I am posting from my phone so please forgive formatting.
I have just recently arrived home following this FU. I, a very happily married 36M with a small herd of children have been going to the gym in my little town since November 2022. I always go after getting the kids to bed which generally puts me there around 830pm.
The gym I go to has two rooms. One has cardio equipment (ellipticals, treadmills, bikes etc) the other room has free weights and various other torture devices.
My routine begins the same every time with 9.1-9.5 miles on the bike, which leaves me in a state similar to that of a walrus that has just managed to pull himself onto an iceberg, very wet and breathing heavy. This process takes me to about 8:55 pm. I enjoy hitting weights at this time because the gym is often (not always) empty and it leaves me to grunt and groan in peace. Tonight the gym was not empty when I entered the weight room.
Now I mentioned that I have been going to the gym since early November. In that time I have gotten used to the people that do spend time in the gym past 9 and this person was new. Not a big deal, she had brought her own yoga mat (the ones in the gym are blue and red and this one was tyedyeish) and she had her phone set up on a stand, I assumed she was making a video. Both of these observations were made as I walked down to my trusty bench to start my bent over rows.
I grabbed my dumbbells and sat down to continue my ritual and TIFU. I always remove my wedding ring before I lift and tuck it in my right sock for safe keeping. If I try to wear it, it digs into my hand and makes things most unpleasant. So I start grunting out reps with ol’ righty and just nicely switched to lefty when I feel a tap on my shoulder. So I stopped what I was doing and turned to see new girl standing behindish me sporting a menacing glare and wielding her iPhone. I popped out my ear bud and asked what was up. The following conversation is as I remember it.
Me: Hey, what’s up?
New Girl: You’re disgusting.
Me: Excuse me?
NG: You saw me in here and took off your ring, planning on chatting me up? (This is a little paraphrased, she swore a little too and I wasn’t taking perfect notes)
NG: You’re gross.
I proceeded to put my earbuds back in and get to work while she stormed to the other side of the gym and started packing up her stuff. I watched her head for the exit while I was resting between sets. Anyway, I’m rowing away and out of no where I’m blasted with a cascade of liquid which leads me to drop my dumbbell and spin around to see what’s going on. There’s new girl with her recently emptied pink yeti screaming at me ( I’m assuming for being gross, it was unclear as I had my buds in still.) I remove my ear buds so I can understand her and she storms away. I think the highlight of the exchange is that my gym shirt now smells like vodka. Do most people drink at the gym? Am I doing this wrong?
I’m home, showered and explained why my shirt smells like I’ve had a raging party to my wife. We’ve both had a good laugh. If I see new girls video on social media I’ll be sure to share it here. I don’t know who she was but it’s a pretty small town so it might pop up. Cheers.
TL;DR I took off my wedding ring at the gym causing a lady I’ve never met before to go bananas.
EDIT: Well this got a lot of attention! So I had emailed the gym owner last night at the request of my wife. (She feels the same as many of you that this lady could be dangerous to others). He has already emailed back. Apparently new girl received a ban early 2022 for aggressive behaviour with another gym patron. Owner is going to call me later today for some follow up.
I will definitely look into the silicone rings, thanks everybody!
EDIT: Final Update. I had initially planned on responding to a bunch of the comments but there are just so many…
Anyway, new girls previous aggression was verbal. The gym owner has deactivated her key fob and placed her on perma ban. He has also called a few of the smaller gyms in the area to give them a heads up (super cool dude).
Thanks everybody for the thoughts and advice. I know I’ve let a bunch of you down by not pressing charges etc. But I also know I have made many of you proud by completing my cardio after lifting tonight. Before I left for the gym tonight my wife recommended a rain coat for protection (she’s the best).
That’s all for now unless the video surfaces. Cheers.
I drink a lot of coffee. My mornings consist of two 300ml mugs of coffee, and I sometimes have a third after dinner later in the day.
Recently, I got far too into James Hoffmann's videos and decided to upgrade my shitty drip coffee machine for a proper precision brewer. And when I say precision, I mean that this thing comes with a water testing strip so you can calibrate the machine for the mineral content in your water supply. Serious nerd shit.
To justify the ludicrous amount of money I spent on what appears to be the Hadron Collider of coffee machines, I did some research on brewing ratios in order to maximise the allegedly life-changing potential of this equipment. Now, coffee science says the ideal water-to-beans ratio for this brew method is about 60g of grounds per litre of water. Out of interest, I decided to prepare my usual ratio from the old machine and see how close I was. It turns out, since I got the old machine just over a year ago, I've been brewing at about 20g/litre, resulting in what I now realise is pathetically weak brew.
I prepared a proper 60g/L brew with the new machine, and the resulting coffee was on another planet. The flavours were so developed it was like I could taste the touch of the Colombian farmer who picked the beans. I drank my full morning dose of two 300ml mugs in just over an hour.
And then, I discovered an unexpected side effect.
The year of drinking weak-ass brew has conditioned my body for weak coffee. And I had just drunk over half a litre of coffee that was theoretically three times as strong as usual.
It has now been an hour since I finished that first pot and I can hear the passage of time. A fly flew past me in slow motion. I made an omelette for lunch and I beat the egg so fast it turned into steam. My heart no longer beats; it vibrates. And there is something unholy brewing in my lower intestine and I am fearing the wrath of God when it is released. Send help.
TL;DR: My new coffee machine gave me the knowledge that I've been conditioning my body to piss-weak brew for a year, and two cups of the real strong stuff made me transcend the space-time continuum.
Here is the machine I bought, for those who have asked, although it appears to be sold out at the moment. Did I get the last one?
And here is the James Hoffmann review that convinced me to ruin my life in this particular way.
To everyone accusing this of being some kind of viral ad, it's true. Sage paid me, and in fact specifically requested I include the details of me plastering the inside of my toilet bowl following the intestinal catastrophe their product gave me. Aggressive shitting is exactly the kind of PR exposure they want for their brand.
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but last week when I was interning at my university's IT department.
So I'm a 3rd year Computer Science student doing an internship to get some experience. Mostly I've been doing simple tech support and handling basic issues. My supervisor asked me to clean up some old files on one of the servers to free up space. He left for a meeting and I got to work.
Now, I know my way around Linux and servers, I thought this would be easy. As I was deleting old log files and backups, I accidentally typed 'rm -rf *' into the wrong directory. I instantly realized my mistake, but it was too late. I had just wiped every single file on the main database server.
Panic set in. 5 years of records, course materials, enrollment info, you name it - gone in 10 seconds of stupidity. I broke into a cold sweat, paralyzed not knowing what to do.
The server was redundant, so data could be restored from back ups, but those were in the hands of another department. I had to confess to my supervisor what just happened.
He turned ghostly white, swore a bit, but then focused on contacting the backup admins to start an emergency restoration. I spent the rest of the week helping get data back online and apologizing profusely.
At the end of my internship, my supervisor said I caused some of the most dramatic on-the-job experience he's ever witnessed, but appreciated how I owned up to my mistake and helped fix it. While they'll be double checking any commands I enter for now on, I'm still welcome back again next term!
Lesson learned…be VERY careful when wielding powerful commands, especially on production servers. RIP data, you will not be forgotten! I will always be haunted by that "rm -rf*".
TL;DR: Accidentally wiped out my university's entire database as an IT intern, spent a week restoring from backups and groveling for forgiveness. On-the-job experience gained, humility attained, and commands now triple-checked.
Obligatory "this was actually yesterday" but you get the idea.
So, I have a 16yo dog, 10yo daughter, 6yo son and 4yo son.
My task list for the morning is:
- Drop off youngest at daycare
- Drop off middle child at elementary school
- Drop off oldest at middle school
- Drop off dog at senior doggy daycare
- Pick up coffee for myself and wife
- Return home with coffee
- Drop off youngest at daycare
- Drop off middle child at elementary school
- Drop off oldest at middle school
- Pick up coffee for myself and wife
- Return home with coffee
Now the discerning reader will note that my task list has 6 items but my executed task list has 5 items. However, the engineer in me would say that I successfully completed the story since the definition of done was "return home with empty car and two coffees". My wife is a product manager and tells me this is stupid but WTF do product managers know, right?
Anyway, turns out middle child took dog with him when he left car. I was talking with older daughter and didn't notice. Once I dropped her off the car was empty so I went to get coffee. Again, in my defense... ok, I have no defense. I totally spaced out and it's completely my fault hence I'm posting here on TIFU.
The worst part was showing up at Doggy daycare in the afternoon to pick up the dog and having them say "what dog? You didn't drop her off today". I nearly had an anxiety attack on the spot but that's also when I checked my voice mail so it worked out pretty quickly.
Anyway, the dog spent the day with my kid at his school. They did in fact try to call me once (maybe twice but according to the story I told my wife it was only once!) but I was on calls so I didn't notice. It's a small private school so things went ok and my kid's class was highly entertained. Dog loves kids and treats and got plenty of both so she was fine. In fact, they even send her home with a daily report card which I found entertaining. For the record, she did well in reading but not so well in math and does in fact play well with others.
TL;DR dropped dog off with kid at kid's school. All involved had fun.